Lewis Black's got nothing on me these days

It should come as no surprise that no one in the Harpish household has been in an exceptionally good frame of mind lately. I was good for a few months, but lately, the triple whammy of a) caring for a wife with life-threatening cancer, b) working at a job that on a good day, sucks, and c) living in an area with no culture, no friends, no anything...well, that'd bring anybody down after a while. And this winter will never end! Even last week, it's still been trying to snow. No wonder I've been making Lewis Black sound like a veritable Pollyanna.

If the job sucks, why not quit? See C again. My job may be low-paying but I have health benefits, which I need as I slouch ever closer to decrepitude. Other jobs? Oh, that's a laugh. I used to think central Oregon was bad, but I couldn't even get a job as a pizza driver around here (and let's not forget this recession thing going on, which, if my economist friends are correct, is going to be a colossally larger bowl of ugly than most people anticipate).

I only have my current job because my previous boss didn't want to go through the rigmarole of going through the hiring process, and it was easier just to stick me in the position (which has created other problems, being as our HR department makes FEMA look like a paragon of efficiency).

Once it became apparent that I'd reached the limit of what self-medicating myself with various libations could do (when you're sucking down Triple Sec because it's the last thing left in the house - yeah, that's a bad sign), I decided that I'd better start seeing someone with experience dealing with borderline depressives like myself.

And it's helped. I'm in a somewhat better frame of mind, and the person I'm seeing is much more into the holistic side of things, not the pharmaceutical, which suits me fine (although I'd definitely go for some Ambien these days, as I don't think I've gotten a good night's sleep in about two months). We had our first official nice days over the weekend, when the thermometer actually topped 60 degrees for two days straight! That, too, may contribute to better moods all around.

We'll see if I need to hit the Xanax in the future but all in all we're doing a little better, about as well as one can do when stuck in this third circle of Dante's Inferno. We travel down to Portland next week to find out if the chemo is at least keeping the tumors from growing, or if it's on to Plan D, in which case I may need the Xanax...or more Triple Sec.

Dave

p.s.,
Cheryl here. Yes, it's depressing to be a cancer patient. Yes, it sucks to be somewhere you don't like. But I'm happy to say that we're both doing better using some independent counseling (see my previous post). Not only do we find out whether the treatment is working next week, we're also packaging the trip up with (a) a visit with a dear, dear, dear friend going through some medical issues of her own which luckily have turned out incredibly well due to a good surgeon and an iron constitution, and (b) we're gonna see the Mariners game on Thursday, May 8. Wheeee! Nothing like following up possible bad news with two great, um, other things. ;)

Home again, hooray!

Hi All!

It's been a busy week! Counseling, minor surgery, and chemo. Phew! I'm home today, feeling pretty good, ready to get some personal business done, as well as some thesis work done. yay.

The placement of the port-a-cath on Tuesday went well. Much to Dave's disappointment, he had to get up and drive me to Gritman Hospital at 6:00 am. He was tired. My surgeon did a great job (according to all the nurses at the Oregon Clinic) of putting in the port-a-cath. I have a 1.5in incision on the my right shoulder, with the actual port under the skin to the right. I can feel the catheter snaking from the port up to my collarbone, and then it disappears underneath to the vena cava. I was soo comfy in recovery, sleepy and under 4-5 warm blankets, all I wanted to do was keep sleeping. The nurses wouldn't let me. bah. But I ended up getting up, peeing, and eating, and they let me out of there by 10:30 am. Dave took me home, and I decided to be a lump on the couch for the rest of the day.

Because I was under general anaesthesia Tuesday morning, I couldn't drive a car for 24 hours. What that meant was that Dave had to get up early (again) to drive me up to Spokane to make my plane to Portland for my next chemo/synta treatment. We had to leave home by 5:00 am. Ugh. But Dave was a trooper and drive me up, making it to the airport by 6:30, and I appreciated it immensely. My friend Beth picked me up at the airport in Portland at 8:30, and get me to the Oregon Clinic by 8:45. She hung out with me until my parents got there around 1:30. My new port was the talk of the infusion room. Most of the nurses there had tried to set up IVs for me, and has seen how many times they went gunnybag, so the port was a relief to not only me but to them. The second wonderful moment of the day yesterday was that I got my drug early, and I was done and out of there by 2:00! Wahoo! No more port-treatment blood tests every hour for 4 hours!

The use of the port was interesting. When the nurses "accessed" the port with a needle, and it sounded and felt like someone was putting a pencil through a balloon without it breaking. Weird. But it allowed me to be more mobile, and the skin was numbed before the needle work. I guess I'll just have to deal with this thing under my skin, but I now see the advantages of it.

Just like every other visit to the Oregon Clinic, I got to meet some amazingly positive cancer patients. One woman with colon cancer was just a hoot! We gabbed for 20 minutes while she waited for blood tests to come back. Each patient has blood tests before treatment, and if your tests come back bad, you don't get chemo. She didn't get chemo yesterday, but it was still a fun chat. Another woman, Pam, and her partner (can't remember his name) were there again. They are the nicest people. He brought a telescope to share with the other patients. He could see two squirrels squaring off with a cat, but I couldn't see it. Pam has stomach cancer, and I've seen a huge change in her attitude over the last month. When i first met her, she was very teary eyed, and had a counselor coming to see her in the infusion room. Yesterday she was joking, and her partner was keeping her spirits up so well! I also talked with a woman who was fighting against getting a port. I was the same way last week! But now I have a port. Don't know if I helped her with her decision.

I got out of there early (2:00!), and mom and dad got there at 1:30. The four of us (mom, dad, Beth, and I) all left together, and Beth went home, while I went for a light lunch before heading to the airport. Dave was able to change my flight from 9 pm to 5 pm, so after lunch Mom and Dad dropped me off at the airport, and I made it into Spokane at 6:05 pm. Dave picked me up and we decided to drive around Spokane for a bit. Dave wants to buy a new barbecue, and the one he wants is at Home Depot. Unfortunately they had none in stock, so we may go to Lewiston tomorrow to see what we can do. After Home Depot, we went to dinner at the Taste of India. Oh, lordy, Indian food tasted soooooo gooooood!

Overall, a pretty good couple of days. The only down points right now is that the weather has turned cold again, I have Taxol running through my system, and my hair has now officially started to fall out. Thank you, Beth, for the scarves, and the two hats from my mother will likely see some use.

Off to the hospital tomorrow

Well, I get my port put in tomorrow. It is under general anaesthetic, and Dave has to get me there by 6:00 am. Ugh. But hey! I should get some pretty good sleep the rest of the day. I was told by the nurses the procedure will only take about 1/2 hour, but i'll be at the hospital for at least 2 1/2 hours. Oh boy. Dave is being a sweetie and taking me in. You poke him early enough in the morning, he does, in fact, wake up. Go figure.

Oter than that, my first counseling session went well. I pretty much just unloaded a bunch of stuff to the counselor with her making a few comments. I got some clarity on a few things, but I think the next session we'll probably focus on working on some coping mechanisms. Yippee.

Wish me luck tomorrow!
Cheryl

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety-jig

Hi All! It's Cheryl. Yes, I know. I have been a bad blogger...passing the blogging responsibilities to Dave for the past month. But I'm back, I'm gettin' jiggy wid-it, and plan to be a blogging fool for the next couple of weeks.

Yesterday I had my first chemo/superdrug(?) treatment of Cycle 2. Each set of treatments is a "cycle", and there are three treatments per cycle, then I get a week off. The chemo drug is Taxol, made from the beeyoutiful Pacific Yew tree. Actually, its a synthetic version, but the original drug, found successful with breast cancer treatment, started a run on poaching of yew trees. Whole stands were cut down in the early 90s in southern Oregon before researchers could synthesize it. The "superdrug", if I am actually getting it (double-blind trial -- bah!), is supposed to work with the Taxol to get my immune system to respond to the cancer. Everyone keep your fingers crossed!

Side effects. Well, so far I haven't lost any more hair, and Dave swears some of the hair is coming back from the IL-2 treatment. The only real side effect is nausea. Well, I have nausea even if I'm not taking chemo, so I can handle that. The vomiting, though...ugh. The first couple of days after treatment, I'm doing OK, as they give me gooood anti nausea medication through the IV. On the 3rd day, however, it all starts coming back. Literally. I'll survive, though.

I've got a busy schedule coming up in the next week. On monday I go to my first counseling session. After struggling with depression over the past month, I decided it was time to look for some help. Sleeping on the couch all day, trying to hide from the world doesn't seem to make any of my problems go away. Go figure. Hopefully, by talking to someone outside the current situation, I can wrap my head around this thing I'm fighting, and find better ways to deal with it for myself, but also to help support Dave better emotionally.

The other thing that's happening next week is that I am going through minor surgery on Tuesday to have a central line port installed in my shoulder/chest area. I've gone through four chemo treatments, and each time the nurses have had a terrible time getting an IV into me, and I now have five bumps on my arms/hands where veins have collapsed from the IV. I've been told that the port will make things easier for the nurses, but also for me. I'm a bit nervous about it, because I'll have a tube connected into my big vein in my chest. But its what we have to do to make treatment easier.

Here's what wikipedia says http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Port-a-Cath :

A port (often referred to by brand names such as Port-a-Cath or MediPort) is a central venous line that does not have an external connector; instead, it has a small reservoir that is covered with silicone rubber and is implanted under the skin. Medication is administered intermittently by placing a small needle through the skin, piercing the silicone, into the reservoir. When the needle is withdrawn the reservoir cover reseals itself. The cover can accept hundreds of needle sticks during its lifetime. It is possible to leave the ports in the patient's body for years, if this is done however, the port must be accessed monthly and flushed with an anti-coagulant, or the patient risks it getting plugged up. If it is plugged it becomes a hazard as a thrombosis will eventually form with an accompanying risk of embolisation. Removal of a port is usually a simple outpatient procedure, however installation is more complex and a good implant is fairly dependent on the skill of the Radiologist. Ports cause less inconvenience and have a lower risk of infection than PICCs, and are therefore commonly used for patients on long-term intermittent treatment.

Yick. But even if I have to find another clinical trial to go into, I'll still have more intravenous treatment, so its necessary to get this accomplished.

On Wednesday, I'm back to Portland. More treatment. Blah Blah Blah. Wash, Rinse, Repeat. I'll blog again perhaps tomorrow, and report on my time in Vancouver BC at the Society for American Archaeology conference 2 weeks ago. I had a blast!

Until next time! We just keep on keeping on. Keep the good thoughts coming, people!

Cheryl

On the road again

Yes, this should be Cheryl posting, but you get stuck with me again. Clearly, I have not been flogging her enough.

We're going to fly down to PDX for the latest round of chemo tomorrow, then back to the frozen wastes of the Palouse (I'm not kidding, either - we're still getting snow flurries and temps in the high 20s). I'm trying to see if I can get tickets to Tuesday night's Lakers/Blazers tilt on eBay or Stubhub or even Craigslist - anybody reading this in Portland with tickets they want to donate to a good cause? I'm trying to remember if I've ever been to a Blazer game in the Rose Garden - I remember the MC but not the new place. Hopefully we can go and see a Blazer victory over the forces of evil.

All in all, Cheryl's doing okay these days. Her hair, which had thinned out quite a bit towards the end of the IL-2 treatment, actually seems to be coming back. At least, I'm not finding her hairballs all over the place. She's currently sporting a short bob - I don't think I've ever seen my wife with short hair. I have seen her high school photo sporting the she-mullet, and that was scary enough, thankyouverymuch.

She's still suffering from occasional nausea, but no vomiting for a while now, which, again, is a good thing.

Aside from that, not much else to report (my fantasy baseball team is kicking ass, though - so I at least have one source of joy in this godforsaken place).

Dave