It's Not Benig

Same Bat-time, new Bat-station

2009-03-12T11:22:00.000-07:00

I've decided to wind down this blog as I prepare to move back to central Oregon. Fear not, I'll still have a blogging presence, just at a newer and spiffier location, so be sure to bookmark this: http://dmeddish.wordpress.com. I promise to keep this new blog updated more often, since it looks like free time is something I'm going to have tons of in the short term.

The die is cast

2009-03-02T13:50:00.000-08:00

I officially tendered notice today. March 31st will be my last day here at WSU, and then, it's back to central Oregon.

I'm certainly picking an awesome time to quit a job with health bennies to return to the land of 12% unemployment, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Announcing the Cheryl L. Harper Memorial Award

2009-02-19T15:03:00.000-08:00

I've been wanting to do something in Cheryl's memory that would be lasting and honor her memory. I considered a donation to the American Cancer Society, and while that's a worthy cause, anything I could contribute would really only be a eye dropper in the ocean.

Cheryl's two great passions in life were archaeology and the University of Oregon, so I got in touch with UO and we are now officially in the process of creating the Cheryl L. Harper Memorial Award, which will go to a graduate student in the Anthropology department who is intends to pursue a career in archaeology. An account is being set up through the UO Foundation that will pay out a yearly sum to a deserving student, and it won't be chump change, either. Conservatively, this should hopefully pay out about $1,000 per year, and in these economic times, that's nothing to sneeze at.

I can think of no better way to honor Cheryl and keep her memory alive.

I'm just getting the paperwork started on this, but I know there are several people who would be interested in contributing to this fund, so keep watching this space for additional details.

All quiet on the western front

2009-02-15T10:38:00.000-08:00

On the bright side, our department may not be subject to massive layoffs. Then again, I don't plan on being here much longer...yes, I've planned the most perfect time to quit a job with health insurance to move to a place where even in the best of times finding decent work is nigh-impossible, but if the past year has taught me anything, it's that you need to be where you'll be happy, and the rest will fall into place.

I think last Valentine's Day was the last big holiday Cheryl and I were able to enjoy together. This one wasn't too bad. Lots of World of Warcraft, then Vanessa and I went to the Oregon State/Washington State game, and lo and behold, the scrappy Beavers pulled out a stunning upset. For one brief moment, all was right with the world.

For what blog readers remain, I'll probably have some big announcements in the following days, so watch this space!

Your quasi-weekly blog update

2009-02-06T17:38:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I should write more. You'd be amazed how much time World of Warcraft takes, and, besides, not much to write about.

Well, a few things of note: one of the students who I provide service for is a would-be cook, and he clued me and Tim; friend, co-worker and fellow member of the Sweet-Jesus-Do-I-Hate-Pullman Cub, about a French cooking class taught in Moscow by an actual honest-to-goodness French chef. What the hell a French chef is doing here is another story, but tomorrow I get to go learn how to make duck l'orange and potatoes au daphine. OM NOM NOM.

Finally got the Subaru sold! Only took three month longer than I thought, and I didn't get quite what I wanted for it, but at this point, I just wanted it gone, one less thing to worry about moving.

Took the kitties to the vet last week, and they got clean bills of health. According to their records, Samantha is 17(!) this year. Samantha does not behave like a 17-year-old cat. She still tears around this place like a banshee and has remarkably good muscle tone. Sure, she's showing some signs of age, like speckled eyes and has only a handful of teeth left, but you'd think this cat was a decade younger. Devons, supposedly, will live upwards of 20, so hopefully The Stinkus still has a few good years left in her.

Speaking of which, I am now being climbed on and shoulder is being demanded, and since typing with a handful of cat is difficult at best...

I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords

2009-01-30T21:41:00.001-08:00

Did Terminator 2 teach us nothing?

Friday Cat Blogging

2009-01-23T16:08:00.003-08:00

Been a while since I posted one of these:

This is actually kinda creepy.

Bullet points in lieu of a longer update

2009-01-20T17:53:00.000-08:00

Figured I might as well pound out a quick update while I wait for the latest update to World of Warcraft to download. Yes, it's official, I've been sucked into that game, but it given me something to do on evenings and weekends other than watch TV and get depressed.

Watched a bit of the inauguration on the internets at work. Obama's got a tough road ahead of him, but I am so thankful that after the last eight years, it's so nice to have actual grown-ups in charge, ya know?

Thought I finally had a buyer for the Subaru but the guy backed out at the last minute. Bastage.

Move-wise, unless some other job comes up, I think Spring Break, which is around St. Paddy's Day in these parts, will be the target date for escaping this place. I'm tempted to stick around until Mom's Weekend - Huey Lewis & The News is playing up here, and, dear God, I remember seeing them when I was in high school. Nostalgia versus the horrors of aging, I'll have to make a tough decision there...

No news is...no news

2009-01-12T10:41:00.000-08:00

So, I interviewed last week for that job at COCC I desperately want. I mean, come on, I've wanted to work for COCC for-ever, and with my background with students with disabilities, I'm obviously perfect - of course, Idiot Dave here, while coming armed with lots of question to ask the interviewers, forgot to include "So, when do you expect to be making a decision?" D'oh! So I've been anxiously sitting by the phone waiting for a call from the 541 area code...waiting...I suppose I'll give them a phone call later today just to check on my status, not to seem desperate or anything...

It's a surprisingly slow Monday here at work. It's the first day of classes here at WSU, and we're normally swamped with students, but so far it's quiet...perhaps too quiet.

I'll keep y'all updated should I hear anything.

UPDATE: I didn't get the job :(

While I understand they were very impressed with me, one of the other applicants had been doing the exact same job at another community college for nine years.

On the as-bright-as-I-can-make-it side, the SSD director did make it clear that she is still very interested in bring me in in some sort of Assistive Technology position, should the funds become available...whenever that might be.

Might as well start stumping for the next COCC bond measure.

I'm bummed, and will no doubt be getting my drink on tonight, but it could be worse, I suppose. I at least have a job at present, and assuming I still move down to Bend this spring, I'll have nicer weather to do it in. So I got that going for me. I'll take what I can get, I 'spose.

The return of the Al Franken Decade

2009-01-05T11:19:00.000-08:00

Old-time SNL watchers might get that reference (otherwise, I have once again managed to date myself), but political junkies such as Cheryl and yours truly got a tidbit of good/interesting news, as it appears that satirist/comedian/writer Al Franken has prevailed to become the newest senator out of the wacky state of Minnesota.

Cheryl and I were big fans of his writing (although, in all honesty, his last book wasn't that funny; you could tell he was gearing up for the Senate run back then), and he should at least liven up the Senate a bit. And make Bill O'Reilly's head a-splode, which is also a plus.

The unexpected foot of snow we got last night - yes, one foot, twelve inches - has resulted in the cancellation of school, so I get to stay home and work on leveling up my World of Warcraft dudes. I can think of worse things to do. Hopefully, the snow won't be an issue tomorrow, as I'm scheduled to fly down to Bend for that job interview. So as much as I love snow...please come back later.

Last (?) post of 2008

2008-12-31T10:37:00.000-08:00

This year can't get over soon enough if'n you ask me...although the holidays haven't been too bad so far.

Slow day at work; I'm listening to the Sun Bowl, hoping to be able to celebrate a Beaver victory much as my numerous Duck in-laws were celebrating Oregon's exciting win over Oklahoma State - I got a phone call from a very excited Rosemary Harper last night, and, having attended a Holiday Bowl with Cheryl and her folks a few years ago, I think they might just be getting home by now. Escaping that stadium is a time-consuming affair.

I was looking for a party to crash tonight, but it looks like a no-go, since I have little in the way of friends up here anymore, so tonight will probably be just me and the kitties, bowl games, World of Warcraft and probably a bottle of cheap red wine. I've had worse NYE celebrations - let me tell you about the woman I dated before Cheryl and I reconnected some time. Or not.

Here's to a better 2009 for everyone.

Half way through the holidays

2008-12-26T15:35:00.000-08:00

I will be very glad when I no longer have to drive from my current abode to visit families and friends in Oregon, and not just because of the distance. On a good summer day, I can make it from Moscow to Bend in just a hair over six hours, to Albany in about eight.

These are not good summer days.

With news of impending snow coming in, I made a last minute change of plans, figuring that one trip over the passes was better than two, and decided to go straight to Casa Harper for Christmas Eve and Day, then over to Mom & Dad's.

The drive through Washington wasn't bad. The Gorge, however, was as horrible as I've ever seen it, but the Subaru is a tank and handled it fine. Portland was okay, but between there and Salem, numerous accidents had things slowed down, and there was a small fortune in thrown chains and cables on the sides of the road. A little over ten hours (!) later, I finally rolled into Albany, the only place in Oregon that doesn't have snow, 'twould seem.

This holiday has gone a lot better than Thanksgiving so far. The only time I've gotten a little emotional so far was when Rose Mary gave out a present to all of us; picture frames of Cheryl and Samantha together. That kinda got me. Otherwise, I've done a decent job of holding it together, I think.

I'm here in Bend for the next few days, then it's back through the snow to the Palouse. Oh boy. Moving in January may suck, but I can't wait until I can end this cross-state commute once and for all.

I am man, hear me roar

2008-12-23T16:53:00.000-08:00

Well, it took longer than the three minutes Tim said it would, what with wearing snow gloves and all, but I have successfully put a new battery in the Subaru and it is working, so far as I can tell, just fine. A new first for man-dom! Now I must go slay a bear!

If one believed in omens...

2008-12-23T12:00:00.000-08:00

So, my holiday plans are to drive down to Bend on Wednesday, then drive over to visit the Harper side of the family on Christmas Day, spend the rest of the weekend in Bend and return to the Palouse on Sunday.

Anybody following the weather knows that it's going to be ugly as of Wednesday. Even more ugly than now. Normally, I love snow in any way, shape or form, but this is not that time.

Having been unable to sell Cheryl's Subaru as of yet, I am planning to drive that down to Oregon. Last night, I bought some just-in-case chains, put them in the trunk...

...and realized the battery was dead. I'm guessing the last person who took it out for a test drive, who was fiddling with every gadget in the car, left something on and it drained the battery.

Oh bother.

So, I haul out the jumper cables and try to give the battery a start.

Did I mention this is the original battery to the car? About six years old? Dead as a doornail?

But, I do live right next door to a Les Schwab, so I'll just walk over and have them put in a new battery, okay?

Sold out?

You'd almost think someone was trying to tell me something...

So, I'm in possession of a brand new battery from NAPA, and this afternoon will be attempting something I've never tried before; changing a battery in a car.

I'll let you all know if I manage to avoid electrocution, or get to drive to central Oregon in a Honda with fairly old tires.

The weather outside is frightful

2008-12-18T13:41:00.000-08:00

In the past 24 hours, I think we've had about six-odd inches of snow dropped on us here in the Palouse, with plenty more to come, courtesy of yon Arctic cold front. I'm taking a work break, watching crazy college students play a spirited game of tackle football outside my office (seriously, some of these guys are catching the ball better than most people on the football team).

Now, being of Scandahoovian and eastern Oregon descent, I love snow in just about any way, shape or form. I even love driving in the stuff, and am considered on of the Ten Finest Snow Drivers In The Free World. Now, these idiotic Idahoans should not be trusted on the roads in most any situation, but me - I know what I'm doing, although my drive down to Oregon for the holidays could be...interesting.

After four long years of resisting, friends finally pulled me into World of Warcraft. And I'm hooked. On the bright side, it is giving me something to do in the evenings that is somewhat social, but my body is telling me that staying up until one in the a.m. is something we really shouldn't be doing anymore.

Nonetheless, a weekend of game play, sipping hot toddies and trying to level up my troll hunter while watching the snow fall outside with the cats sounds like a decent waste of time.

Oh, and the job front: I did get an interview scheduled for the office assistant job, although I'm not sure how that's going to fit with the idea of a new position just for me...but I'm sure I'll find out soon. Hopefully the snow will be melted by then.

UPDATE: So I just spoke to the Director of Services for Students with Disabilities at COCC, and she said that while they are very much wanting to create a position for me, when and if that happens is contingent upon funding, of which there is very little at COCC, and any work they had right now would be on an as-needed-no-benefits. However, once that position did open, it would be easy to slide me over from the office assistant position, and should definitely plan to come in for the interview, which would be in two weeks.

And, not to jinx it, given that the director really wants me there, probably in any capacity - I like my chances. Fingers and toes crossed, people!

Do Want!

2008-12-15T15:51:00.001-08:00

Those struggling with ideas for Xmas gifts for yours truly could do worse than this doodad:

Yes, do want!

Cheryl's degree, and news on the job front

2008-12-13T14:46:00.000-08:00

Today was winter commencement, so I braved the newly-snow-covered roads - and, of course, horrible Idaho drivers; seriously, they're terrible - and picked up Cheryl's M.A. degree. Well, Vanessa was kind enough to pick it up (happy berfday Vanessie!), I just stood in the bleachers. Vanessa had tickets to go see the Portland showing of "My Name is Bruce," starring your hero and mine, Bruce Campbell, complete with Q&A after the movie with the man himself, but the nasty weather from here to Portland put the kibosh on that. I'm no Bruce Campbell but at least I sprung for lunch.

Cheryl's folks were going to try and make it for the event, but they, too, were put off by the gawd-awful weather we're having. I think they're calling for 6-10" of snow tonight, followed by a week of high temperatures in the single digits.

Oh, yeah, I got good news on the job front (and, again, I hope I ain't jinxing it): I had an application in for an admin assistant at Central Oregon Community College's Students with Disabilities department - a job for which I am extremely qualified - but Friday, I got a call from the department director, essentially offering me an entirely new position that they would create specifically for me! When I dropped off my resume last time I was in town, they were very impressed in the SSD department, and have been needing to upgrade in the assistive technology department, so it looks like they're going to hire me soon! When exactly? Not sure. And it's only part-time, but (in the Even More Good News Department), it sounds like there might be some need for a part-time writing instructor, so I could easily cobble together a full-time Franken-job, and to work at COCC would honestly more than I could hope for (I could go play basketball at lunch at the gym with guys I've hooped it up with for nearly 20 years now).

So, keep your collective fingers crossed, 'cause it looks like I might be Bend-bound sooner than later!

Yeesh, way to rub it in

2008-12-08T14:08:00.000-08:00

As has been mentioned previously, The Amazing Race was one of Cheryl's favorite shows, and I had promised her that when she got better, we'd try out for it.

Last night was this season's finale, and where do they have it? Portland! City of my birth! City both of us are very very familiar with! And there was even a roadblock at Bridge of the Gods, which Cheryl, being a Hood River-ite, knew quite well (how little Miss Dreadfully Afraid of Heights would have handled the cross-river zip line, however, who knows).

Bother.

In other less-mildly-ironic news, I may have potentially good news on the job front, but shall refrain from jinxing it until further notice. But watch this space for more info in the near future.

Friday cat blogging

2008-12-05T15:12:00.000-08:00

No Rose Bowl for my Beavers

2008-11-29T19:50:00.001-08:00

Oh bother.

Somewhere, though, I'm sure Cheryl is very very happy.

What I am thankful for

2008-11-27T17:26:00.001-08:00

This has been a very horrible year all around, but I am thankful for my many friends and family members, both mine and Cheryl's, who have been there for me during these difficult past few months.

Words cannot express how much you all have meant to me.

Turkey day, indeed

2008-11-26T16:59:00.000-08:00

Since I watched the Stephen Colbert Christmas Special last weekend, I can’t get Elvis Costello’s “(What’s So Funny ‘Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding?” out of my head. Trust me, I’ve had worse songs rattling around in my head, and this was one of the better versions I’ve heard.

This is going to be my first major holiday without Cheryl, and to be honest, this ain’t easy. For the past few years, Cheryl and I would usually spend Thanksgiving Day with her rambunctious family in Eugene, end the festivities with a massive 16-or-so-player game of hearts or dominoes, then drive out to the Oregon Coast, where my folks have a time share dealie, and spend the rest of the weekend there.

Last year, if I remember correctly (I could look it up on the blog but I’m trying not to get emotional as it is), Cheryl was between IL-2 treatments and we decided not to try two trips to Oregon in a one-month span, so we had a wonderful time doing Turkey Day at our place with our friend Vanessa, cooking Cornish game hens, then playing Wii Bowling afterwards.

This year, I’ve flown back down to Oregon and I’m staying with my folks; they’re staying at Seaside, not the central Oregon coast as they have previously. And, man, everything’s setting me off right now. Driving past the Oregon Zoo, where we’d gone to “see the aminals” before her appointment where we learned the IL-2 wasn’t working anymore. Driving past the Rose Garden, where I’d managed to wrangle last-minute Blazer tickets last spring and we saw the Blazers beat the Lakers before one of Cheryl’s ipi treatments.

And driving by Providence Medical certainly didn’t bring back any good memories. It feels like I’m playing the world’s worst version of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.

God, I hope I’m doing better by Christmas. I certainly don’t feel very thankful for much of anything right now.

Hopefully a good night’s sleep will help.

Until then; sing it, Stephen:

A bit of a down weekend

2008-11-23T16:42:00.001-08:00

Most people look forward to the weekend. Me, not so much these days. Aside from Vanessa, I just don't have many friends up here anymore, and hence, not much to do. Workdays keep me and my brain occupied, but on the weekend, it's pretty much just me, the kitties and large heapings of sports and movies on the TV.

I've been pretty good most days but today - it's cold, winter's rolling in and I'm just feeling really, really lonely. And I found out I didn't even make the interview process for that job in Redmond I had high hopes (that'll serve me right for getting my hopes up).

Who'd have thought I'd look forward to Mondays..

The only reason to ever own a Roomba

2008-11-20T15:52:00.001-08:00

Roomba Driver @ Yahoo! Video

End-of-the-week blog dump

2008-11-16T11:47:00.001-08:00

The sun has come out for the first time in...what, two weeks? Yesterday, though, was probably the last Saturday Market of the year. What few veggie merchants showed up had decidedly end-of-the-year wares that didn't look all that appetizing. I will give Moscow this, during the summer, they've got a top-notch farmer's market. Most Friday's, some fish merchants come into the Co-op to sell just-caught-that-morning fresh fish, and I'd usually pick up some halibut or salmon for dinner that night (as Cheryl would request, "get some fish-fish," in our curious pidgin language).

Friday morning, Bruce Ellis, Cheryl's boss at the Forest Service, stopped by to pick bits of USFS property that I still had, and to drop off an album that the crew down in Orofino had put together of Cheryl. Very nice and greatly appreciated.

Also, Mia sent me a CD of the pictures Cheryl had taken on their vacation in Norway a few years ago. Cheryl had thought those pictures had been lost when her computer crashed a while back, and I still have the journal notes of what picture was taken where.

Vanessa came over last night to watch a little football and we tried my new huckleberry-infused vodka - pretty tasty stuff. Wonder if there might be a market for an independent distiller of infused spirits...Oregon is currently the biggest source of start-up distilleries, much like the microbrew boom of 20 years ago. Yes, we Oregonians like our hooch, but we like quality hooch.

Speaking of football, good heavens, it looks like the OSU Beavers have a very real chance of making the Rose Bowl! Whodathunkit? Next week's Arizona game will probably be the last real roadblock, as I just don't see Oregon posing much of a challenge during the Civil War (cue foreshadowing music)

At present, I've got my laptop back (huzzah), watching the NFL and keeping track of my fantasy
football team, which is miraculously back from the dead (my first pick this year was Tom Brady, that should give you a hint of how much I sucked), thanks to judicious trades and gleaning the waiver wire. Might even make the playoffs this year.

Vanessa, her brother and I might be getting into the Moscow curling league. Curling! Whenever it's on the late night Olympics coverage, I'll stay up until 2 a.m. watching it, and I have always wanted to try it. Hey, it'll get me out of the house once in a while, at the very least. And the ice rink is just across the street from me, so I won't have far to go.

Talked to my boss last Friday - he's only been here a few months, but he seems like a pretty cool cat - and told him my plans were to stay in the area at least through the end of the term, but after that, I'm putting some feelers out, but promised that I'd give him plenty of notice and make sure the department was going smoothly before I bugged out. He told me he understood, and while he'd like me to stay, if I was to quit mid-term, he'd understand.

I've had bosses who would have fired me for making that statement, so his understanding and empathy is greatly appreciated.

I will say this, the job has improved greatly since he took over. Well, we have moved into new digs, so we're not stuck in a 105-year-old twice-condemned asbestos-filled craphole. That helps. And my boss is pretty hands off and trusts me to do my job, which is my preffered management style.

No word on that one job in Redmond I've got my fingers crossed for. It's a governmental agency, and we all know how fast they move - talk about glacial.

Right now, the Stinkus is tearing around the place like she's got ants in the pants, and Pearl has reverted to her deep hibernation cycle.

I think that's about everything for now.

Random musings on a slow day

2008-11-12T10:19:00.000-08:00

The weather up here has been positively Willamette Valley-like the past week and a half. Overcast, blustery, windy - I don't think I've seen the sun for the past several days. And let me tell you, when the sun goes down up here, it gets dark. Seriously. It's like there's a black hole or something up here at night.

I'm doing okay, and seem to have settled into a pattern that gets me through the days, which usually involves 1) go to work, 2) watch TV/surf the internet the rest of the night. My computer has been in the shop the past week, however, so I have been sans the web for a while. For an internet addict like myself, it's been very hard. Man cannot live on basic cable alone.

I do a little packing now and again, although last weekend was hard. I packed up a lot of Cheryl's stuffed animals, including her teddy bear she'd had since she was a wee tyke, and that set me off for a while. Every day is a little bit better, but I'm still tremendously lonely up here.

And that is the source of my great conundrum: should I stay or should I go? It's no secret that I wasn't happy up here even in the best of times, and I cannot wait to get back to central Oregon. It's home, it's where friends and family are, and it isn't this gawd-awful place. However, I do have a job (with good benefits), and finding a job even in the best of times in Bend is an adventure, and to read the newspapers, this is the worst recession the country has been in since the Great Depression.

Do I stay someplace I don't like, simply because I have a job, or move for my own mental well-being and hope I find a job sooner than later? Ay, that's the rub. On the bright side, I've got a line on a couple of job possibilities in central Oregon, and I hope hope hope that one of them pans out. I've got inside connections working for me, and the older I get, the more I learn it's not what you know...but who you know.

Still, I probably should have sent the shoebox full of $20s in with my job application. Never hurts.

I suppose they could have been worse...

2008-11-06T09:25:00.000-08:00

So, one of my favorite pastimes, now being part of a family of Ducks, is mocking the great ugliness that is the sports uniforms of the University of Oregon. And my team's colors are orange and black! When you put out uniforms that make that combination look good, well...

...and don't get us started about the marching band, ahem, "uniforms." Cheryl was in the band when they had capes and Musketeer-style hats, really good for keeping out the rain they were always marching in. She despised the Nike-era "uniforms" that looked that the unholy union of a Nazi biker gang and a road crew.

But getting back to the anecdote at hand, a few years ago, the University of Oregon, clearly green with jealousy over the back-to-back college baseball championships won by the mighty Beavers of Oregon State, decided to bring back their defunct baseball program (sadly, throwing the storied UO wrestling team under the bus, but that's another story), throw a ton of Nike dollars at them and see if they could buy a national title that way.

When I first heard of this, oh lordy, how I gave Cheryl a hard time about what those uniforms would look like. Will they come out in lemon yellow unitards? Bring back Roboduck? And Cheryl could only shake her head sadly, as she knew she had no defense against the truth.

They finally unveiled the new Duck baseball uniforms today:

Okay, they could be worse. The "O" on the pants looks like a janitor's key ring, and I hope that they never wear that giant yellow "O" in an actual game as it looks like a giant bull's-eye. But, once again, they have managed to make a team that frequently wears radioactive orange uniforms look good.

Man, I was really hoping for the spandex unitard. That truly would have been worth mocking.

Yes we can!

2008-11-05T13:16:00.000-08:00

It's no secret that Cheryl and I were - and are - tremendous supporters of Barack Obama. He's the first candidate we ever donated money to, and I know one of Cheryl's great regrets would be not being able to vote for him in the general election.

Last night, Vanessa came over and we watched the election results, flipping around between NBC, CNN and MSNBC (those giant electronic maps do look very spiffy in HD), and when 8 o'clock rolled around and the left coast offically gave the election to Obama, Vanessa got a little sniffly, and I know Cheryl would have been a little emotional as well. The cherry-on-top for us would be, somehow, Al Franken winning the senatorial election in Minnesota, which might yet happen. We were both big fans of Al Franken's books, and to see him get elected (and, by default, Bill O'Reilly head a-sploding) would be beyond cool.

This will be a moment that we can tell our grandchildren about. Others have said it more eloquently, but to me, the fact that we have elected a man with a decidedly odd name, raised by a single mother and grandparents, and just happens to be black - these are the ideals that this country was founded upon. This is what America is supposed to be, where a man like Barack Obama can rise to the highest office in the land.

I wish him well, as he - and we all - have a lot of work ahead of us.

Remembering Cheryl

2008-11-01T14:31:00.000-07:00

It's a slow day. I'm packing up some kitchen stuff, watching football, and just generally being lumpy. The winds have blown through, taking most of the remaining leaves off the trees, and the streets are generally a soggy mess of smushed leaves. Reminds me of Eugene in the fall.

Last week, Vanessa and I drove down to Eugene for Cheryl's celebration of life. It was a nice drive, and a long drive is made much easier with a friend. We stayed with Cheryl's folks Friday night, and Rosemary had put together a lot of photo albums from the pictures we'd hauled out of storage. I'd never seen most of Cheryl's baby picture, and boy howdy, were she and her sister redheads back then. That's one of the few times I got a little choked up that weekend, as this was supposed to be the year we were going to try hatching a rugrat, and I know that little guy (or gal) would have had that uber-red hair.

The longhouse was everything we were hoping for, big, roomy, and for a woman dedicated to archaeology and Native American cultures, it really was her cathedral. It was a beautiful warm autumn day, the leaves were still turning, the skies were clear and the sun was shining - the eternal winter rains had not yet arrived.

Rosemary spoke for a bit about Cheryl, and then I picked up the story about the point where we met, and I managed to make it through without completely losing it. I was so happy that we had so many people there; family, friends from as far away as Hood River, Seattle and Pullman, co-workers, and many of them shared their stories of knowing Cheryl as a smart, loving and warm person. I was especially glad to have Dr. Dennis Jenkins speak, as Cheryl always spoke highly of him as a teacher and mentor to her.

Thanks to all who came, and to all who shared their memories of Cheryl.

Afterwards, some of us wandered around the Natural History Museum, where Cheryl worked and volunteers for several years after college (a pretty spiffy little museum, and one of Cheryl's co-workers from the museum mentioned how they are still using Cheryl's organization system there), then we wandered down to the East 19th St. Pub, which is where we had our first date all those years ago.

At least, I think it was our first date. The more I think about it, our first date might have been at Rennie's Landing. Well, I know for a fact that our second date was at the 19th St Pub, but that's another story.

In short, it was a perfect sendoff for a very wonderful woman who will be greatly, greatly missed.

It's official: satire is dead

2008-10-30T14:58:00.000-07:00

I am going to post about Cheryl's celebration of life (promise, I'll get to it soon), but this was sent to me, and...I know Cheryl would have gotten a kick (or the palm-to-the-forehead) out of this:

Jesus People Pray That False Idol Will Save God’s Economy

Now, Cheryl and I both fell into the spiritual-but-not-religious category (and we're evil socialists, too), but we both know enough of the Bible to know that this is a really stupid idea. Seriously, with all apologies to our right-leaning readers, if this is the best the Republican Party of today can come up with, they are definitely headed the way of the Whigs, Free Soilers and Know-Nothings.

All that's missing is Edward G. Robinson lamenting, "Where's your messiah now?"

Our mailing address

2008-10-27T12:43:00.000-07:00

More than a few people at Cheryl's memorial (and I'll blog more about that later, but it was wonderful to see the many friends, family and coworkers who came) asked for our mailing address to send cards. It's:

1215 S. Mountain View Rd. #201B
Moscow, ID 83843

And, of course, if you need any more info, you can contact me via the blog.

No recriminations

2008-10-19T12:13:00.001-07:00

Spent most of yesterday going through old papers and boxing up our CD collections - I have a bad habit of putting my CDs back into any open case, while Cheryl was horrible about proper storage and keeping the jewel cases, keeping most of her discs in travel envelopes; end result, it took me a couple of hours to property recategorize and box up CDs, and I have several discs without cases and cases without discs.

Different thoughts go through my head on different days. What's been eating at me lately is the feeling that this was all might have been avoidable. I don't know for sure how long Cheryl had that original melanoma on her back, but it was at least a year before she finally got it taken care of at WSU. Then, going through old medical records, I discovered that she never went back to the doctor for followups. Not until she started having tummy problems last summer did she get a primary care provider, four years later.

I can't help but think if: If she had gotten that mole checked and taken care of earlier. If she had gone in for yearly checkups. If I had nagged her more about seeing a doctor...maybe she'd still be alive.

But Cheryl had a number of horrible habits, among them, she was stubborn as a proverbial mule, and he surest way to get her to not do something was to pester her about it. I think she also felt that she was too young to get cancer, this couldn't happen to her, and so on.

I also know, deep down, I can't beat myself up over this. How many people get nasty purple moles that just sit there forever and do nothing? And there's no guarantee that this cancer came from that mole; it could have been lurking there unseen for several years. And even if we'd caught it before it had metastasized, even as a single tumor, once melanoma is in your innards, it's bad news, period. The odds might have improved to 35% over 15%, but we'd still have had a long road ahead of us, going through the same treatments.

It's certainly possible that nothing we could have done would have changed the final outcome.

But that's cold comfort right now.

Hooray for in-laws

2008-10-17T14:13:00.001-07:00

Cheryl's folks came up for a few days this week and we packed up a lot of stuff - it's a good think they brought Paul's pickup truck, as we filled it up with Cheryl's clothes and such. I gave Bill and Rosemary the glass hutch they'd given to Cheryl and I as a present some years ago; one less thing to pack up and move for me, and they'd always liked it.

We also came across a box of photographs that Cheryl had taken over the past fifteen years that I, sadly, had never seen before. We also found a box full of mementos and school things that, too, Cheryl had never shown me. It was in one of those boxes we'd meant to get around to unpacking but never did. There were some wonderful images and pictures in those boxes, and it was very enjoyable for the three of us to go through them. We will have a lot of them available at Cheryl's celebration next week.

I just wish she'd had the chance to go through them with me.

Directions to Cheryl's memorial

2008-10-14T14:23:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of Kristine and Mapquest:

From the north:
http://www.mapquest.com/maps?1c=Portland&1s=OR&2c=Eugene&2s=OR&2a=1630+Columbia

From the south:
http://www.mapquest.com/maps?1c=Medford&1s=OR&2c=Eugene&2s=OR&2a=1630+Columbia

From the east:
http://www.mapquest.com/maps?1c=Bend&1s=OR&2c=Eugene&2s=OR&2a=1630+Columbia

Work is good

2008-10-13T14:37:00.000-07:00

Back at work today. Keeping busy keeps my mind occupied, which is good.

Cheryl's folks will be staying with me for a few days. We'll do some packing, maybe some golf, weather permitting.

How long will I be staying at work? Still figuring that out. Probably going to be returning to central Oregon sooner than later, though. Of course, finding jobs in central Oregon, even in the best of times, is an adventure, and we're in a massive recession. At least the folks will put up with me for a while.

Tough going

2008-10-10T10:22:00.000-07:00

Been spending the week at my parent's house. Mornings have been pretty rough for me. I wake up after dreaming and expect Cheryl to be there. By the evening, however, I'm usually feeling better. Having my Mom to talk to all day has been a big help; we lean on each other.

I'll write more when I feel up to it.

Cheryl's memorial is set for October 25th

2008-10-08T19:33:00.001-07:00

All friends and acquaintances of Cheryl's are welcomed to attend. The event will be from 11-2. It will be at the Many Nations Longhouse on the University of Oregon campus. Map on the link below:

http://uoregon.edu/maps/

Feel free to contact me if you need additional information.

Doing kind of okay

2008-10-06T11:41:00.001-07:00

Friday night, kind of spur of the moment, I decided to come down to Bend to spend some time with my folks and friends. Vanessa, bless her, is happily watching over the beasties. I hope they'll adjust to living down here when we move. They've moved from Eugene to New Mexico to Pullman before, they should be fine. I hope. Me, I still feel pretty hollow inside, and very sad.

The move will hopefully be sooner than later. I just hope I can find someone to pack up my stuff for me. Right now, I'm just not in he mood to pack up all my garbage and drive it down here by myself.

I think I'm doing okay. I'm forcing myself to eat at much as possible, and I got some good Ambien-aided sleep last night. I'm still having problems with my internal thermostat being out of whack - I'll get chills, then start sweating, then get chilled again within five minutes - but I hope that's just stress.

Right now, I'm hoping to be down in Bend by early November - the sooner I can get out of Pullman, the better. Virtually nothing but bad memories there now.

Today's a hard day

2008-10-03T13:12:00.000-07:00

I was going to try to drop off Cheryl's research today, but didn't sleep too well and am feeling so-so. I'm just feeling tremendously lonely right now. Thank goodness for Samantha; she's never far away and helps me go right to sleep.

I think Vanessa and I will go out for something to eat today, or just crash on the couch. God bless you, Vanessa, you've been wonderful this past week

I might take some more Ambien and perhaps try to hibernate through the weekend. I am planning to return to work on Monday, simply for no other reason than I need to get out of the house and around people again.

I should be packing stuff up but am just highly unmotivated right now when here by myself.

On the bright side, it looks like the plans for Cheryl's memorial are now set, Saturday, October 25th, from 11-2 (or thereabouts) at the Many Nations Longhouse adjacent to the UO Natural History Museum. If you need help finding the place or making travel arrangements, please let me know.

Today's update

2008-10-02T18:59:00.000-07:00

I'm still on something of a rollercoaster, only the emotions seem to hit me on an hourly basis - I'll be feeling pretty good for a while, then getting weepy right afterwards. Thank God for Ambien; I am at least getting some good sleep, but I've been staying on the couch, the TV does a good job of helping me to nod off (that, and I haven't gotten around to folding all the clothing on the bed yet, either).

Unless you hear otherwise on this blog, we're still a go to use the longhouse next to the Natural History Museum at the University of Oregon on Saturday, October 25th. For those who wish to attend the memorial, you can contact me via phone or email for directions, especially if you are coming from some distance away

Possibly intriguing news of day: I will most likely be leaving this area as soon as I humanly can, as there is nothing here for me besides a low-paying job I really don't like. Central Oregon has always been home to me (as my Mom says, I've always kept one foot there, no matter where I was), and my folks will be more than happy to put me up for a time while I find a place of my own. Now, my sister has been looking to purchase a potential retirement property in Bend, and made the following suggestion: find her a foreclosed or other home to buy in the area, and I could rent it from her.

Man, I couldn't ask for a better scenario there.

Also, I spoke briefly to Dr. Andrefsky, one of Cheryl's committee members, to see if the Anthropology department would like Cheryl's several binders of research from her thesis - sound like yes - and we also discussed the possibility of granting Cheryl her M.A. posthumously. Since I had made a formal request, and since Cheryl had had an article published based on her research, Dr. Andrefsky thought it was possible and likely and he would forward my request, with the backing of the faculty, to the Graduate Student department (and, I mean, come on, how could they say no?)

I'll be talking a bit with Dr. Andrefsky tomorrow, and see what the weekend brings - probably a lot more sleeping and hanging out with Vanessa.

Cheryl's memorial service (tentative)

2008-10-01T16:26:00.000-07:00

It's weird, I'm a logofascist, but one of the two words that have always given me trouble is "tentative." I have always pronounced it without the second "t", so it's "tenative." Weird, huh? Oh, the other word? "Basilisk." That one doesn't come up in casual conversation very much, though.

Anywho, bless you Kristine and Joe, as they've helped me find a wonderful place for the memorial service for Cheryl. At present, it's going to be at the Many Nations Longhouse next to the Natural History Museum at the University of Oregon on Saturday, October 25th. I cannot think of a more perfect place to remember Cheryl's life, since she worked at the Museum for a few years before and after graduation, and, of course, loved the University of Oregon. After the service, we'll probably have a big room reserved at one of the local pubs Cheryl frequented as a student, graduate and wage monkey, get soused, and hopefully watch her Ducks put the boots to Arizona State.

This isn't writ in stone as yet but it's looking very, very likely at this point. When plans are finalized, they'll of course be here in the blog, so keep watching this space.

Cheryl's final days

2008-10-01T13:05:00.000-07:00

I guess I can go ahead and get this written.

After the "we're down to chemo" diagnosis, Cheryl was pretty down. We spent the night with our friend Beth, and she cried herself to sleep with me beside her.

I don't think she ever called the oncologist in Lewiston who would have dispensed her drugs. Probably that old bugaboo of procrastination and guilt. Cheryl did feel very guilty about her cancer, and was very aware that her putting off getting that mole removed may very well have ended up killing her.

Still, she improved quite a bit physically over the last couple of weeks. She was able to get up and down off the couch and up into bed without assistance, and her diet started to bounce back to normal. Wednesday night, in fact, we went out to the new Shari's restaurant and she ate half a hamburger and fries.

Thursday night, when my Beavers whupped on USC, she was on the couch, half asleep, I didn't think anything of it at the time. She was just tired, I thought, and she had her "button" (the BAD CADD that gave her her atavan and benadryl cocktail), so when she dedicded to sleep on the couch, I thought it a little unusual, but not that much.

Great, as I type, there's a commercial for The Amazing Race. Cheryl loved that show. We were going to send in an application tape once she got better.

She hadn't moved Friday morning, and I went to work anyway, again, thinking she was just tired. She never picked up her phone during the day, and that worried me, since she usually at least picks it up to say "I'm sleepy, call me back later."

When I got home I was apparent that she'd never gotten off the couch all day, and she was dehydrated and incoherent. She couldn't form complete sentences or finish a thought. I called 911 and we got Cheryl to Gritman hospital.

Again, this wasn't too different from previous incidents when she's spiked a fever; they'd blast her with antibiotics and fluids and she'd be back in a few days.

They wheeled Cheryl away for a CAT scan and shortly thereafter the doctor came back with the bad news: the tumors had moved to Cheryl's liver and brain and she was badly septic. They could do everything they could for her, but she wasn't leaving the hospital.

In retrospect, I perhaps should have seen this coming; there were a few times in the previous week where Cheryl would have trouble finding a word to finish a sentence, or she'd wake up from a dream spouting gibberish. The tumors were probably starting to move into her brain back then.

I called our families and told them to get up here as soon as possible and I stayed with Cheryl through the night. Vanessa, dear sweet Vanessa, came over to spend much of the night with me. Cheryl kept fighting her oxygen mask in her disorientation, and eventually had to go on a BiPAP machine to force air into her lungs. She would still say "I love you" when told her that I loved her, and some of her last coherent words to me were, when we had the Oregon/Washington State game on, I leaned over to her and said "Honey, your Ducks are up by 21," and she weakly said, but a hint of the humor I loved, "Oh, boy."

Shortly after the last of Cheryl's family arrived, they disconnected Cheryl from the BiPAP and resumed a regular oxygen line, and she slowly faded away. Her brother-in-law noted her pretty pink toes, the one girly thing she loved to do, and that she was still fighting to the end.

That's our Cheryl, tough and stubborn to the end.

We stroked her hair and held her hands and told her it was okay, that we loved her very, very much and we were so happy to have had her in our lives for even this brief time, that she was the most special person we had ever met. She was pretty drugged-up at this point but I hope she was able to absorb some of this.

And then she was gone.

Taking some getting used to

2008-09-29T22:19:00.001-07:00

I was just reading online that former Duck basketball player Maarty Leunen had signed a contract to play basketball in Turkey.

I was about to turn to Cheryl on the couch and say "Hey, honey, guess where Maarty Leunen is going?" when I caught myself.

This really sucks.

Thank you all for the kind words and support

2008-09-29T19:40:00.000-07:00

Not quite up to the longer post as yet, but I think I've contacted everyone in our collective phone lists. Thank you all for you kind words and support during this time.

Please keep leaving comments; they're appreciated. Anyone who needs to get a hold of me can call me 509-768-0529 or my primary email address at bddave@yahoo.com.

I had a long chat/session with Cheryl's counselor today, and that helped quite a bit. We spoke at length at how Cheryl was dealing with the stress and, yes, guilt of her cancer - Cheryl was painfully aware that her procrastination at dealing with that mole on her back may very well have been why she was in this predicament. It sounded like Cheryl was starting to accept the possibility of passing and was making peace with that, and that made me feel a little better.

I am presently making arrangements for Cheryl's service in Eugene and will post that information here when plans are finalized.

Cheryl passed away Saturday evening

2008-09-27T20:39:00.000-07:00

I'll post more when I can. She went peacefully and surrounded by friends and family.

Thanks to all for your kind words and support during these difficult times.

One sliver of sunshine in this otherwise crappy year

2008-09-25T21:15:00.000-07:00

OOOOOO! SSSSSS! UUUUUU! Oregon State! Fight! Fight! Fight!

You better believe I'll be rocking the orange tomorrow. You don't have the answers for the Quizz! You don't! You just don't!

Dave

A decidedly mixed bag

2008-09-19T20:29:00.000-07:00

So, we're back from the latest trip from the Oregon Clinic, and we've got good news and not so good news.

The good news is that Dr. Crocenzi was very pleased with how Cheryl has bounced back from radiation therapy and that she's gotten her appetite back.

The bad news is that we're now out of clinical trials. There's a few coming down the pipe, but they're not yet taking applications for those. Plan E looks like chemotherapy, and the best case with chemo and melanomas is simply slowing it down; it's very, very seldom an actual cure.

Yeah, not the news we wanted. We're both pretty down about basically being down to our last straw.

The next clinical trial Dr. Crocenzi mentioned would involve a biopsy of a melanoma in order to create a vaccine, and perhaps fortunately, Cheryl is now covered in purple dots, so they won't have to go far to find one...

Hey, I'm trying to find good news anywhere I can these days.

I'm going to run away and join the circus

2008-09-11T18:26:00.000-07:00

One peculiarity of our 2nd-floor apartment is that it's right across from the Latah Country fairgrounds, and it's that time of year again; the Zipper is spinning, the air is filled with the smells of cotton candy and elephant ears, and there's so many carny folk around it looks like a Joe Dirt convention. In short, the fair is back in town.

Mind you, as fairs go, this is pretty rinky-dink. Latah County is not exactly large - outside of Moscow, you've got a handful of tiny ex-mining towns that number in the low hundreds, if that - so the fair reflects that. We don't even get has-been musical acts, we get never-wasses ("Ladies and gentlemen, the Latah County Polka All-Stars!")

Okay, that was a cheap shot. I have nothing against polka music. Still, any fair that gives out ribbons for Lego sculptures...well, I'll let you draw your own conclusions.

That being said, the Latah County Fair is a damn sight better than LentilFest, I tell you what. And it's free, too. Can't beat that price.

Cheryl is doing better and we hope to stroll the grounds and "see the aminals" (sic), as well as get some greasy corndogs. Mmm, corndogs...however, I doubt we will be taking a spin in the Tilt-a-Whirl at this time. Winning a cheap-ass stuffed animal, however, may be in the cards.

Yeah, I know, late update...cut me some slack

2008-09-06T20:22:00.000-07:00

It's been a long, long two weeks at my loathsome job, and I've been very, very tired lately. Not to mention that Cheryl and I are both lazy and enable each other horribly, as the giant pile of clean clothing sitting in the middle of the living room can attest.

But, anyway, the news out of the Harpish household is...mostly good. The radiation therapy, combined with the injectable cocktail of drugs Cheryl takes on a regular basis seems to have done the job pretty well for the short term. She's eating a much more regular diet (regular enough to ditch the five-pound-milkshake each night, we don't know yet), and her energy level is much, much higher - for the first time in months, she seems like the "old" Cheryl, which is much welcome in these parts.

Now, we still need to work on that muscle tone - she's got matchstick calves and arms like my 85-year-old grandmother, and climbing up two steps of stairs has tuckered her out for the day, but we're definitely moving in the right direction.

Now, this current progress is strictly pallative; we've still got plenty of cancer to worry about, and when we head to Portland next week, we'll find out what Plan E is going to be (the ipi is out for now, but at least we've got a Plan E).

More news as we get it.

Dave

The good, the bad and the ugly

2008-08-30T12:16:00.000-07:00

The Good: Cheryl's back home and we're on our fourth day back from the hospital, so it doesn't look like we're going back anytime soon. Huzzah! Also, Cheryl is actually eating solid food and not, I repeat, not barfing it up ten minutes later. Sure, she's not eating a whole bunch, but she's eating! Not enough to get get rid of the milkshake-in-a-bag as yet, but we're trending in the right direction. She's also not having to hit the "BAD CADD" as often (the BAD in this case stands for the Benadryl, Atavan and dexamethazone cocktail she can inject herself with as needed for cramping and nausea.

The Bad: Dear Lord, my wife has absolutely zero muscle tone. It's improving, but simply standing up takes a fair amount of effort. You squeeze her arms, it's like holding a soggy balloon! This calls for more high-protein smoothies and low-low-low impact exercises to build up those cankles!

The Ugly: Getting up and off the toilet is currently a nigh-impossibility, and since Cheryl's still on the Lasix to get rid of all her excess water weight, so that means a lot of piddling, and we've had to get a commode.

Cleaning one of those things out is absolutely zero fun, let me tell you. I really deserve a raise if'n you ask me.

Dave

Hopefully, this will last longer than the last time

2008-08-26T19:21:00.001-07:00

Hooray, Cheryl's home! (again) Fortunately, this should last longer the last time - she spent a week in the hospital working on improving her strength, and is doing much, much better. She still needs a little help getting around, and the shower could be an adventure, but all in all, this is a vast improvement over last week. Her folks are staying with us for a few days and are being a big help. And she managed to eat a decent dinner of fresh pesto fettucine, too! Her nausea is becoming less and less of a problem (it's still there, but it's manageable).

Big shout out to Apria, the folks who make her milkshake-in-a-bag. These folks have been a tremendous help to us and they have our thanks, big time.

We'll see how she does in the next few days, and hopefully is able to get a shower in the next day or so...she is kinda stinky right now...

Po-dunk

2008-08-24T21:03:00.000-07:00

So, Vanessa and I got over to Lentil Fest in Pullman about four o'clock. There was the beer garden, and I see a few vendors...where are the lentils?

Oh, that happened at three o'clock. No more lentils anymore?

Call me crazy, but if this is the "National Lentil Festival," shouldn't there be lentils, lentils, everywhere? But there was nary a dry pea to be found anywhere.

Gotta love the city of Pullman. They don't even half-ass this garbage, maybe quarter-ass, best case.

It's funny: Moscow is five miles away, across the border, and is also a college town, but actually feels like an actual town; there's a definite sense of community. That would apparently be too much work for the City of Pullman, who's idea of community is apparently collecting Busch Light cans off of College Hill after football games.

Vanessa and I wandered to Pullman's downtown and found a new German/Czech place, specializing in all sorts of odd goodies (head cheese or tongue-and-blood sausage, anyone)? How unique! Being Pullman, I give them three months, tops. But we did get some beer and sausage, to the day was not a complete loss.

On to the Cheryl news: she is feeling much better, and may come home in the next day or two. She's spent the last few days working on building up her strength so she can "at least get off the toilet," in her words, and is actually eating some actual solid food and getting out for laps around the ward. Her folks are coming up tomorrow, too, to help out, which is good - I'm just about out of sick/vacation days. Still, any excuse to miss work is a good one...

Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks...

2008-08-22T20:05:00.001-07:00

Then apparently I own a damn gravel pit.

At least Cheryl is feeling a bit better. She's still swollen up like Veruca Salt due to fluid retention, but is feeling stronger and actually eating solid food. Just a little, but we'll take what we can get.

As for when she gets released, who knows? Hopefully later next week; that appears to be the best case scenario.

I just got through with a week of hell at work at WSU ("Killing Your Hopes And Dreams Since 1905!"), and will have double that next week - beginning of Fall Term is always that way, and, as usual, I'm understaffed and overworked; my back is absolutely killing me, and I don't think I've gotten a decent night's sleep in about six months.

There is one bright spot, the return of our dear dear DEAR friend Vanessa, and believe you me, simply having a friendly face in the area who understands what we're going through is a tremendous boon. In fact, we're going to Lentil Fest tomorrow.

You know how some small towns have these big national festivals, like the Garlic Festival in Gilroy, CA, that are really big deals?

Now imagine one of those being run on a $42 budget, and you have Lentil Fest.

That was short

2008-08-20T15:46:00.001-07:00

About two o'clock last night, Cheryl desperately needed to go to the bathroom. We tried getting her to a standing position, but she was too weak. She tried crawling there but couldn't get up to the bowl, so we had no choice but to call 911 to get an ambulance and have her carted back to the hospital here in Moscow.

At least she was home for ten hours :(

The docs think this utter weakness might be due to abysmally low albumen counts - no albumen, no protein production; no protein production, no muscle mass; no muscle mass, I have a jellyfish for a wife. But, really, there's no great consensus onto why she's so weak all of the sudden.

More news will be posted as I get it. Hopefully some of it will be good for once.

Dave

Well, at least we're home

2008-08-19T22:51:00.000-07:00

You know the old phrase, "weak as a kitten?" That, sadly, describes Cheryl right now. When I can say she can barely stand, I ain't kidding. I was able to push her up the stairs, barely, which is good, as the only other option was carrying her, something the Dave of 2006 might have been able to accomplish, but the Dave of 2008 is older, flabbier, and in much worse shape.

At present, Cheryl is zonked out on the couch, as getting to the bedroom was going to be too much effort. To no one's surprise, she's covered in cats - I see once again where I fall in the hierarchy of things - "not the mama!"

Hopefully, after a good night's rest (and once the pharmacy running through her veins is depleted), she'll at least be a little more conscious...and be able to get to the bathroom unassisted.

O frabjous day!

2008-08-18T21:24:00.000-07:00

Good news, everyone! Cheryl finally returns home tomorrow after...jeeze, how long has it been? Hopefully we can keep her well for longer than three days before returning to the hospital. Fingers and toes crossed, people.

But also, our dear dear friend Vanessa is returning to the Palouse, so at the very least we've got someone else to commiserate with in the coming days.

I'd better hurry up and finish this post - there's a monster thunderboomer coming through and boy howdy, I'm getting quite the free lightshow.

Time for the big weekend info dump

2008-08-09T13:41:00.000-07:00

Well, now I know why Tim the Housesitter didn't see Pearl while he was here: she'd gotten stuck in a closet for five days! Aside from being very thirsty, she seems none the worse for wear; when left alone, she truly does hibernate. Apparently, she decided to have her revenge by meowing loudly at me last night, every hour, on the hour, which certainly beats the dreaded Kitty Surprise, if'n you know what I mean.

I'd like to think that maybe she's learned her lesson and won't climb into closets anymore, but both Cheryl and I know that our cats really aren't very bright.

The drive home wasn't too bad - I ended up taking the slightly longer route through Lewiston to try to avoid a massive thunderstorm to the north, which I managed to do for the most part. The air was thick with ozone and the smells of rain and freshly-cut wheat, which combined with the pyrotechnics to the north, actually made for an enjoyable trip.

Friday morning, I happened to bump into Chris Fountain, the nurse who's in charge of coordinating all the various clinical trials at Providence, and got to pick his brain for a bit. Right now, the plan is for he and Dr. Crocenzi to get a CAT scan after the radiation therapy and see what, if anything, has changed, and if Cheryl's still good to go on ipilumimab therapy - even though the study is fairly liberal, she may not be eligible to continue with it (although, it's worth noting, "ipi" is close to FDA approval, which would open it up to everyone). Chris did mention that they're another couple of trials opening up soon, so we do have a Plan E should the current therapy crap out. He also mentioned that, simply to improve her quality of life, surgery to remove the tumor-riddled portions of her gastrointestinal tract is not unthinkable, but major surgery like that is very risky and would most likely be a last resort.

Also, according to Chris, what he has seen with stomach tumors and radiation therapy is that, occasionally, a lot of the tumor tissue will be killed and end up being...well...barfed up. And it looks like meatloaf.

Say it with me: ewwww! And Cheryl doesn't even like meatloaf.

At present, Cheryl is kind of riding the roller coaster of nausea and stomach cramps, but she's usually getting plenty of dilaudid and other Happy Fun Drugs that keep her feeling okay, but pretty sleepy. She's only got two more treatments to go, and if all goes well, we'll have her back home by the end of next week, and she can sit on the couch and watch the Olympics to her heart's content.

Saw The Dark Knight on an IMAX screen down in Tigard (and, guys, if we're paying $13 for a movie, I think you can spare a little Windex and clean the damn lenses! It's very annoying to have these giant black spots on the screen because the projector is dirty).

That aside, I really liked the film, although I'm reluctant to call it The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread. Worth the price of admission, definitely, and Heath Ledger's performance truly was all that and a bag of chips.

Dave

Up and down the roller coaster we go

2008-08-06T17:57:00.001-07:00

This morning, Cheryl got taken away early to get irradiated, and upon return, was nauseous and pretty much out of it. By this afternoon, thanks to happy fun drugs, we were fairly close to "normal" Cheryl, able to carry on a conversation with her parents and aunt and uncle to came to visit for our anniversary (and brought tasty cake, the bulk of which will probably be eaten by the nursing staff).

As of now, we're back to sleepy, nauseous Cheryl, as I think that visit pretty much tuckered her out (yes, I have a wife with the stamina of a one-year-old at present, 'twould appear, but that's the joys of radiation therapy and god knows what else). I suspect we will not get around to watching The Simpsons Movie tonight, and I'm sure I'll hear about it that I forgot to set up the TiVo to tape Project Runway (that show is on perpetual repeat on Bravo, however, so I'm sure she'll be able to catch up).

For some reason, Cheryl has taken to being a regular watcher of Mariners games. I can't imagine why, unless she's a closet masochist or has an unnatural and bewildering fascination with Yuniesky Betancourt.

Maybe she's just getting ready to watch lots of horrible University of Oregon baseball next year and needs to steel herself (oh, I'm gonna hear it for that one...)

At this rate, I should make reservations for Barrow, AK

2008-08-05T10:38:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will our 3rd wedding anniversary - funny, I thought the typical present of the 3rd anniversary was leather, not toxic radiation. Shows you what I know.

Our anniversaries have continually gotten worse. Our first was spent in Winthrop, WA, a sleepy little town in northern Washington, and it would have been fun had there not been this massive forest fire a few miles away smoking the place out. We ended up going to Lewiston for our 2nd anniversary and eating at this nice-looking but very underwhelming restaurant (when I order a steak, I do not expect it to be cut up for me; I still have all my teeth, tyvm), and days later we got the current diagnosis. And now our third is being spent in a hospital.

Cheryl's doing pretty well, but tends to have periods of "bleargh-iness" due to the radiation, but she's able to get up and walk around a bit, and happily chowed down on some naan I brought back for her (and, by happily chowed, I mean she nibbled on small pieces like a squirrel).

I will probably be heading out to one of the giant shopping malls to do some no-sales-tax shopping later, and I just found out that there's a local IMAX theater...and I haven't seen The Dark Knight yet...

Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Pinky?

I used to love road trips

2008-08-03T19:57:00.000-07:00

One year of ferrying to Portland and back (plus a cranky lower back) definitely takes the fun I once enjoyed out of driving. I really need to learn how to ride a motorcycle one of these years - I'd certainly be saving fat bank on gas.

Anywho, I'm here in Portland with the missus, who feels kind of "meh" today - tomorrow is more radiation therapy, and I'll be visiting a friend of ours tomorrow and going out for Indian food - mmm, Indian food. Yes, tandoori chicken, you shall soon be mine...all mine...

More updates later. The Simpsons are on now.

Dave

The year of the suck, ctd.

2008-07-30T16:59:00.000-07:00

So much for getting out of the hospital on Tuesday. The docs decided since they were having trouble with her pick line, they would instead keep her in Providence to do the radiation therapy there. So, yes, if you had "Cheryl stuck in the hospital for another three weeks" in the pool, congrats, you're a winner.

Cheryl was, unsurprisingly, less than happy about this news. Nothing like an 8 a.m. teary phone call to put you into complete panic mode when you're still waking up.

I can't remember the last time I got a decent night's sleep. I've got sleeping pills but they don't seem to do the job; they just make me woozy. I could take more, but then I start thinking about Heath Ledger and figure I can get by on less sleep. A fellow depressed co-worker recommended Wellbutrin over Prozac since you can still slam beers on that stuff, so I shall look into that.

I'm a ramblin' guy

2008-07-28T11:33:00.000-07:00

A few random tidbits of news today while taking a break from the mundanity (?) that is my low-paying job:

1) At present, Cheryl is due to be discharged from Providence late this afternoon. Turns out the bug was something that migrated from her gut, most likely due to the tumors, big surprise. So taking out the port turned out to be unnecessary, and now the pick line in her upper arm is developing clots. Oh, happy day. Transfusions and blood-thinners will ensue.

The plan is at present that she'll get a week or two of radiation therapy in Corvallis while staying with her folks, and we'll see what shakes out from there.

2) Went to a Magic pre-release event over the weekend. Managed to wrangle 5th place and some prizes, but I can tell my once-semi-vaunted skills have greatly atrophied. I do so love living 100 miles from the nearest game store - hell, we live 100 miles from the nearest anything. Cheryl and I can both agree that coming to Pullman was clearly the biggest mistake we could have made, but you know hindsight being 20/20 and all that.

3) After watching some young'uns play Rock Band for a few minutes, I remember when, back in my days, kids would actually start a band, instead of pretending to play in one. Just one more nail in the coffin of rock and roll.

4) Saw Hellboy II over the weekend. I was hoping for great, but I'd rank it as "pretty good." Still worth the price of admission. Maybe, if Cheryl's feeling up to it, we'll see The Dark Knight while she's in Corvallis. One can hope.

5) I thought the purpose of sleeping pills was to put you to sleep. The latest wonder drugs I'm on are keeping me awake at night, thusly making me even more cranky and irritable (and I'm pretty cranky and irritable to being with). I don't think that's right. I hate taking all these pills, but then I look at the small pharmacy Cheryl has and realize I'm actually not that bad off.

6) Bachelor living is fun for a few days, but the novelty wears off pretty quickly. I do get to make all the dishes I like but Cheryl doesn't (but, seriously, who doesn't like tomato sauce - I married a communist or sumthin').

The word for the day is "setback"

2008-07-22T12:41:00.000-07:00

Cheryl's still in the hospital for now. They were having problems reinstalling a catheter into her port (third time was the charm, ow), and the latest blood cultures have shown she's got another bug in her system, which might explain why her temperature spiked to 102 yesterday. They're worried that the port might be the source of the infection, in which case it'd have to come out and a pick-line would need to be installed in her upper arm, and six weeks later it'd be surgery again to install a new port.

Bother. Let's hope the port isn't the source of these recurring infections, but right, all signs point to it being the culprit.

Cheryl's oncologist is suggesting, in an attempt to shrink the nasty tumors that are making eating anything beyond applesauce an impossibility, that she undergo radiation therapy for a week or so to see if that at least mildly improved things. When or if this will happen, we don't know yet. When she will return to Portland for another blast of biotherapy, or if she's even able to get more of it, we don't know yet.

Sigh. No wonder my doctor's got me on antidepressants now. Hooray mood elevators! Sadly, Prozac also affects my liver so it's forcing me to cut back on the happy juice. Drinking twice as much for the same buzz and getting double the hangover takes a lot of the joy out of Triple Martini Night.

On the reasonably bright side, we are coming up on the one-year anniversary of Cheryl's initial cancer diagnosis, and most people diagnosed with metastatic melanoma don't make it to a year since it is a very aggressive cancer, and while her stomach is riddled with nasty tumors, they don't seem to have metastasized heavily beyond her tummy and upper GI tract. So, while I doubt we will celebrate this anniversary with soda and pie, it's at least one tidbit of good news. We'll take what we can get in these parts.

Late Breaking Update: Turns out Cheryl has, in her words, a "rare and unique" bug, so she's being transferred back to Providence, and, fairly conveniently, her folks are coming tomorrow for a visit (note to self: finish cleaning the pigsty that is our apartment), and they can ferry her to Providence, where, hopefully, they'll get her back up to speed and give her another blast of biotherapy. And hopefully not keep her there for another two weeks.

The year of the suck continues

2008-07-20T10:43:00.000-07:00

Can we just have one thing in our lives that doesn't absolutely, completely, utterly suck this year?

This weekend, we were hoping to either catch Hellboy II or The Dark Knight, or, god forbid, maybe even go hunting for huckleberries if Cheryl felt well enough, one of the few things I actually look forward to in this godforsaken place. Fat chance there, Chester. Wednesday evening, Cheryl starting vomiting again. By Thursday afternoon, she couldn't keep anything down, including water, and by Friday, she was vomiting over a dozen times even though she wasn't putting anything in her stomach. Which, as you can imagine, was loads of fun.

This, clearly, was not a good thing, so back to the hospital we went last night to get rehydrated and chock full of intravenous antinauseals. She's feeling better this morning but odds are this may result in another extended hospital stay, and what the timeline is for another treatment in Portland is, we got no clue. In my lay opinion, it would not surprise me if surgery is now called for simply to improve Cheryl's quality of life, but I'm not a doctor, I just play one on TV.

One step forward, one step back

2008-07-12T19:14:00.000-07:00

As you saw from Dave's last post, I was fading a bit at the end of our trip to Bend. I started feeling really ill and nauseated, and by Tuesday I couldn't hold down food or water. So on Wednesday, I checked my temp and it was 103 degrees! So at 8 pm we were off to the Emergency Room at Gritman Memorial Hospital here in Moscow. And, of course, just my luck, they admitted me to the hospital at midnight, likely with some form of infection.

I was supposed to be released on Friday morning, but there was some question about a possible bacteria, so they kept me for one more day, including most of today to get a new blood transfusion. But I'm home now, and the cats are happy, the hubby is happy, and I'm full of anti-nauseal drugs. Whoopee. I'll give a fuller message later this week.

Cheryl

Slouching ever closer to decrepitude

2008-07-08T12:20:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, I had these big, glorious plans for my upcoming 40th birthday; beer, more beer, maybe a stripper popping out of a cake or something like that. Unfortunately, having a wife with cancer and sky-high gasoline prices kind of put the kibosh on that. Man plans, God laughs and all that.

So the festivities were somewhat truncated. On my actual birthday (well, the night before, as every decent restaurant in this @#$% place closes on Sundays) we went out to one of my favorite spots, The Red Door, and Cheryl was even able to keep some food down. Although, in the future, I should pick a location that has actual air conditioning, not just several fans that keep moving the hot air around like a convection oven. Just bring me the pitcher of ice water and leave it at the table, m'kay?

Last weekend we drove down to Bend to see friends and family; my friend Jon even arranged a Seinfeld-themed party which, alas, only turned out to be the usual poker night with a puffy shirt and a trivia contest that I, amazingly, lost. I know Seinfeld trivia, but Action Cam has me beat there. My distress at having to spend $100 on gas on this trip (and I drive a Honda, for cryin' out loud!) was ameliorated by winning $100 at poker from the hard drinkers. At some point, you'd think they'd realize that Dave here is a tight player; if he reraises you, odds are he's got you beat.

Jon, in fact, now has two stills going and is marketing his liquor/paint thinner to the masses, while former business partner Brad Irwin is looking to actually go into business selling his homemade whiskey. Hey, if the craft brewing industry can take off, why not the craft distilling? Now, this would be something I would like to get into - make my own happy juice! Vodka ain't cheap, ya know.

Cheryl did pretty good for most of the trip, but I think these long car rides are probably a no-go for the forseeable future, as she faded pretty badly by the end. On the bright side, she has been able to eat a little food to supplement the intravenous milkshakes, but she's not back to her old self entirely either. She goes in for another ipilumimab treatment on Thursday; hopefully they won't keep her another two weeks. I just got the bill for the last two weeks - our insurance better pick up most of it of I will have to look into ponying up a kidney.

Dave

Home Home Home-a-dee Home Home Home

2008-06-28T15:53:00.000-07:00

Hi All

Well, I'm back home (yay!). We finally heard on Wednesday morning that I was going to go home on Thursday...a full two weeks from when I entered the hospital. They have me on steroids (prednisone) temporarily, and hopefully I get off those in the two week tapering schedule they have me on, so I can get another treatment!

I flew in Thursday afternoon, and we had to stop at a medical supply place. The doctors decided I still need help with nutrition for a while longer, so I will be receiving infusions of nutrients overnight for the next couple of weeks. It comes through a little pump which, when we turn the big box fan on in the bedroom, you can't hear very well. We stopped at the medical supply place to pick up the medication, and to bags of supplies, including syringes and glucose meter. Because the nutrient bags are full of glucose I have to check my blood suger after the thing has started in the evening, and give myself insulin if necessary. So we picked all that stuff up and headed home.

We were home for, oh, a half an hour when the home health care nurse arrived to help us get started with the IV nutrients. After 2hours of training, I was done, even if the nurse wasn't quite yet. I called a time out, crawled onto the couch, cried from exhaustion, then got back up to learn the last little bit. SIGH. Once we got 'er all set up, it really wasn't that difficult to put together. I have a port-a-cath, which means I have a semi-permanent IV connected which makes it easier to do the nutrients. The last two nights have been relatively uneventful. Maybe that's cuz I got me a prescription for sleeping pills (whee). The nutrients (known as TPN) is only hooked up for 12 hours overnight, so I'm detached the rest of the day. I'm going to check with a dietician to get a schedule of food so I can get off this stuff soon.

Today we got out and went looking for some pretty flowers to go on the deck. I think late June may be a bit late for flower hunting. We'll try the Saturday market next week.

Tomorrow is Dave's birthday, but we're going to dinner tonight. Hooray for Dave!

Cheryl

You want news, we got news

2008-06-20T14:50:00.001-07:00

It's Sunday, I'm studying for my GIS midterm (another post/story), I've got a big pot of marinara sauce simmering, which will most likely be my lunch/dinner for the week, I've got StatTracker up to follow the progress of my first-place fantasy baseball team, it's night, and we're wearing sunglasses.

The bad news is that Cheryl is still in the hospital. The good news is that she should be getting out soon, as the docs think they have gotten a handle on her nausea and nutrition problems - she's actually hungry and sounds to be in pretty good spirits; they just need to take care of, ahem, the other end of the digestive tract and she should be getting out in a day or two - so much for the fly down in the morning, leave in the afternoon plan. She's been there nearly two weeks! Oy vey, I don't want to think about the bills we're going to get.

The good news there is that we're very nearly close to hitting the catastrophic amount on her insurance, at which point, insurance picks up 100% of everything.

The bad news is...well, let's just say that the catastrophic amount isn't a tiny number.

Well, I hear you can get a healthy five figures for a kidney...I got an extra one...

I guess this qualifies as good news

2008-06-13T20:34:00.000-07:00

So, the news from Portland seems to be fairly positive. Cheryl got both an endoscopy and a CAT scan today ("so what kind of cat do they use for that, har har"), and the results were, at the very least, not negative: the tumors in her stomach are not blocking the exit to her stomach, and the CAT scan revealed no blockage in her small intestine, as possibly feared.

What the gastroenterologist thinks might be happening is the tummy tumors are causing the muscles responsible for moving food down into the small intestine to spasm at inappropriate times, and that's causing the problems with nausea and vomiting.

Cheryl is, last time I talked to her, feeling much better, getting an IV full of fluids and nutrition, and they'll be trying yet another anti-nauseal which may relax those cranky tummy muscles, although she won't be home for another few days yet.

I finally got tired of eating popcorn and canned chili for dinner and decided to utilize my once vaunted cooking skills, thawing out some frozen fish that needed to be used up and improvising a tilipia piccata (with capers, no less) which was surprisingly tasty. I'll probably make me a monster pot of chorizo-and-black-bean chili for tomorrow to last me the upcoming week - I really do need to be cutting down on all the pizza for breakfast/lunch/dinner/midnight snack I've been chowing down on lately...

Dave

A slight change of plans

2008-06-12T13:05:00.000-07:00

I got Cheryl piled onto a flight to PDX this morning, and the plan was for her to return to Moscow tonight, however, once she got there and the docs looked at her lab work, they decided that they'd better keep her overnight to get some fluids and vitamins in her (which is what I've been saying for weeks now; one cannot live on toast and Ensure shakes forever), and they'll run some tests to figure out why she's still nauseous and vomiting despite being on practically every anti-nauseal drug known to mankind.

They're brining in an gastroenterologist later today and they might do the ol' camera-in-the-tummy routine again (my suspicion: Bitey and Co. are clogging the exit to the stomach, making it hard for food to get through. Remember, though, I'm not a doctor, I just play one on the Internet).

Accordingly, they've put off the 2nd dose of ipilumimab until they get this straightened away. On the plus side, aside from the constant nausea, Cheryl's been doing reasonably better, only vomiting once every two or three days instead of two or three times a day. That may not sound like much improvement, but we'll take what we can get.

Hopefully we'll have some news in the next 24 hours, and it'll be good news. As always, happy thoughts are much appreciated.

Dave

Hooray for IV drips!

2008-05-30T14:54:00.000-07:00

As you saw from my post the other day, I have not been feeling well lately. Boy, howdy, was I not feeling well. But now I'm feeling a bit better. Why you ask? A trip to the outpatient clinic at Gritman Hospital and a nice infusion of hydration and anti-nauseal drugs. Aaahh.

Let me tell ya, though, it took forever to get this set up. Because all of my treatment has been focused in Portland, I have no clue what resources there are here in Moscow. If I'm dehydrated, what do I do??? I'm 400 miles from the infusion clinic at the Oregon Clinic. I have only been to my primary care physician here in Moscow twice. I've been to the oncologist in Lewiston once. So how do I get about getting what I need to make me feel better while not in Portland? After having a rough weekend, and a rough early week, I called the nurse's line at the Oregon Clinic to try to get someone to write orders for hydration here in Moscow. But I had no answers for them as to where to go. My bad. Out of town doctors can write orders for medical needs at private clinics, but not at local hospital outpatient clinics like we have here in Moscow. You need to have privileges at that particular hospital. Therefore, the Oregon Clinic had to send orders to my primary care physician, who then wrote his own orders to get me in for hydration at the hospital. SIGH. It took 24 hours to get it set up, and I finally got in yesterday. Two hours at the hospital, and I definitely felt better. Last night I even ate a bit of dinner (mmmm...split pea soup from a can).

What this fiasco has taught me is to get myself educated! I need to talk with more people, and my PCP, and the oncologist in Lewiston, to see what identify what they can do for me in the area. Especially since I'm only going to Portland every 3 weeks now.

Today I'm doing a bit better. I'm eating crackers, drinking Powerade, and have only hurled once, and that was early after drinking an Ensure shake. I think my body does not like Ensure. I'm gonna take a break from them for a while.

Other than that, no new news. My next appt in Portland is June 12. Oh, and the new treatment drug's name is IPILIMUMAB. I-pili-moo-mab. I think. ;)

Cheryl

Dave & Cheryl At The Movies: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

2008-05-26T19:59:00.001-07:00

Just got back from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, another one of the many films I was looking forward to this summer and (spoiler alert - read no further unless you want plot points revealed) we both agreed it was kind of "meh." I thought the first hour was great stuff (Russians! Atomic bombs! And was that the Ark of the Covenant?) that was vintage Indiana Jones, but as soon as that crystal skull showed up, the movie started to go off the rails.

I know Lucas & Co. were going for a 50's B-movie feel here, but it felt a little too forced in spots, overreliant on CGI, and, again, after the fiasco that was the Star Wars "prequels," it's painfully apparent that George Lucas should not be allowed anywhere near a keyboard ever again. Seriously.

On the one hand, any Indy is good Indy, but I can't help but feel that they should have let the franchise ride off in the sunset, literally and figuratively, in The Last Crusade. However, given the ginormous opening of the film, and the passing of the fedora to Shia LeBoeuf at the film's conclusion, I suspect we may not have seen the last of Dr. Jones.

Fine by me, as long as we get Lawrence Kasdan back to write it. I said back away from the keyboard, George! I'm serious!

Dave and Cheryl give Indy 4 a solid thumbs in the middle.

Question: Is it the Treatment or the Cancer?

2008-05-26T15:49:00.001-07:00

Oh, lordy, have I been sick for the past four days! I haven't been able to keep anything down, including liquids, since Thursday, and I've had a temperature running as high as 102.5. Yuck. Finally, I'm feeling a bit better today. The question has been whether my symptoms are from the evil cancerous tumors in my tummy, gastroenteritis, or the initial response to my new treatment regimen, which started on Thursday. We're hoping its the latter. We almost went to the emergency room yesterday, as I was soooooo dehydrated and my temp was pretty high, but as of 9:00 last night, I was feeling a lot better, and was able to drink some powerade overnight.

Today has been touch and go, but my temp is only running around 99, and I'm taking tylenol for that. I was even able to eat granola bar and not feel like I was going to bring it back up immediately. I'm feeling well enough now to go off to the movies. We had originally planned to go see the new Indy movie Friday night, but, well, um, yeah. I'm a bit weak from lack of calories, but I'm slowly (and carefully) trying to fix that.

I'll give you an update on the movie when we get back!

Toodle-ooo!
Cheryl

Another Day, Another Dollar (or three)

2008-05-20T07:24:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't put up a blog post in a while. Last week was, shall we say, an icky week for me. The tummy was not cooperating. At all. I tended to be a lump on the couch under the afghan groaning a lot. This week I'm doing much better.

I started acupuncture last week. Ever since my first trip to Portland last fall, I've been wanting to go outside my comfort zone and try some chinese medicine treatments, and after Dave nagged me for a couple of months, I finally made an appointment at a clinic in Moscow. The needles don't hurt when they go in, much, but its been an interesting experiment for me. Mostly because there seems to be somewhat of a correlation between the acupuncture treatments, and my stomach going, um, yucky. The 24 hours after each appointment I have had the worst stomach problems! Its possible that my body, since its been in poor shape for a while, is rebelling against attempts to realign the whatevers that acupuncture realigns. Or it could be just wacky coincidence. I'm thinking its part of the acupuncture. I have another appointment on Wednesday. I'll keep ya posted.

Thursday I start the Ipilumamab (is that how you spell it???) treatment at the Oregon Clinic. I fly into Portland early Thursday, and fly back home that afternoon. I'm not sure what to expect, so I'm hoping I don't have an immediate response to the treatment. Flying by myself and feeling like crap is never a good thing. Everyone keep their fingers crossed that this treatment does the trick!

Other than that, not much is going on. The weather has been beautiful here for the past week. When I wasn't lying under a blankie on the couch groaning, I was on the deck lying on a lounger reading a book, groaning a little in the shade. Ah.

Cheryl

Six of one, half a dozen of the other

2008-05-09T19:53:00.000-07:00

Whew! Dave here. What a long trip...we hit all the popular hotspots in the Pacific Northwest on this trip; Portland, Seattle, Enumclaw...

We got into Portland on Wednesday evening, got a CT scan, then went out for Indian food with Cheryl's friends, Blair and Noel - very tasty! You just can't get good ethnic cuisine up here. Hell, a bratwurst is considered ethnic in this neck of the woods, but that's beside the point. I waaay overate, and felt like a python that had swallowed a goat and needed to go digest under a tree for a week or so.

Sadly, Cheryl ended up puking around midnight, which has been a common occurrence lately, so we weren't surprised when Dr. Crocenzi informed us that the tumors had grown a bit, so no more Plan C. Phooey. We weren't terribly upset about this, as being a double-blind study, we had no clue that we were getting the good stuff or the placebo.

However, the following news was somewhat better. While Cheryl got an IV of fluids and a little anti-nauseals, Chris Fountain came by with the paperwork for Plan D, an anti-CTLA4 drug called ipilumimab (say that five times fast and it sounds like you're calling the legal offices of Bob Loblaw).

So what's this drug do? As mentioned previously, melanomas are something the immune system should recognize and destroy, but doesn't. This is partly because melanomas have a "shield" of an animo acid (CTLA-4, duh), which blocks the killer T-cells. Basically, the T-cells come up to the melanoma cells, John Cleese pops out and taunts them, and the T-cells go away to plot some other way to get into the castle.

Ipilumimab, according to this study, will strip the CTLA-4 shield from the melanoma cells, enabling the T-cells to sneak inside the cells using a giant rabbit...or maybe a badger.

However, since CTLA-4 protects many other things in the body from indiscriminate immune responses, there's a possibility of many other autoimmune side effects, similar to what happened when Cheryl underwent IL-2 therapy, most commonly a nasty skin rash.

But it gets more interesting! The paperwork we had says that, on average, about 10-15% of all patients see some kind of response - about the same as IL-2. However, Chris told us that 20 people have undergone ipilumimab therapy at the Oregon Clinic so far, and 16 of them have been in the program long enough to undergo further CT scans. Of those 16 people, a whopping 14 have seen some kind of response, varying from no further growth to, in at least one case, complete remission. Apparently, if you have seen some kind of response in IL-2 therapy (which we have), the odds are much greater that you will see a response in ipilumimab therapy.

And, this isn't chemo, so there'll be no nasty chemotherapy side effects, and it's only one treatment every three weeks, not three weeks/one off.

So Plan D sounds like a winner in our book (which is good, as we're not sure what Plan E might be as yet).

Heartened by the possible good news, we ventured up to Seattle to visit my friend Scott Rudi and catch a Mariners game, which was sadly unexciting save for a unexpected bench-clearing brawl (but, I mean, Sexson is all of six feet thirteen, and you throw a helmet? Come on!), topped by a fantasy-league-killing performance by Felix Hernandez. Thanks for nothing, Felix.

(Cheryl here)... Just wanted to report that we stopped by to see our friend Vanessa at her parents home outside of Enumclaw. Three weeks out from major brain surgery, and she is walking, talking, and overall doing really well. So well, that she and I are going to plan a trip to New Mexico in the fall, baring health ickies. Whoopee! Balloon Fiesta, here we come!

Dave & Cheryl at the movies: Iron Man

2008-05-02T13:53:00.000-07:00

People have asked me, "oh, come on, there must be something you like about Pullman," and I'd think for a bit, waiting for the rubbing-my-chin-in-thought glissando, and I'd respond with "Well, there is this one mini-mart that usually gives me pop refills for free," and that's pretty much it. Okay, there's one other thing: since this town empties out in the summer, that means no lines at the movie theaters; and since Cheryl and I are both big comic geeks, this summer is shaping up to be a fun one, what with The Dark Knight, Indiana Jones 4, The Incredible Hulk, etc., etc.

So, last night, we got tickets to the early showing of Iron Man, and we were rather geeked, since the trailers looked good and the early reviews have been phenomenal. And the theater was only half-filled. Thank you, empty Pullman.

Now, I've been geeked to see movies before and been disappointed. This is not the case. If you are a comic geek, run, don't walk, to see this movie. I'm not sure I'd call it the best super-hero movie ever, but it's definitely in the discussion (I'd still give Spider-Man 2 the nod there, but I could easily be convinced otherwise).

If you aren't a comic-book geek, you'll still get a kick out of this film. Robert Downey Jr.'s performance alone is worth the price of admission, and the supporting cast - Jeff Bridges, Terence Howard and Gwyneth Paltrow - that's a cast out of some hoity-toity for-your-consideration art flick, not a $200 million summer blockbuster. These are people who can make expository dialogue sing, and, mercifully, there's not all that much of it. Downey's performance, in fact, might be remembered at Oscar time; the sort of out-of-left-field wow-where-did-that-come performance akin to Johnny Depp's first go as Jack Sparrow.

In short: Dave and Cheryl give Iron Man two thumbs up, way, way up - we would offer more praise, but that we had more thumbs.

P.S. Don't leave until the credits are completely over, as there's an unbilled cameo that, again, will make us comic book geeks squeal with delight.

It had to happen eventually

2008-05-01T10:32:00.001-07:00

I'd been holding out for far too long, skirting the law, but I finally broke down and did it...

I got Idaho license plates for my car.

I'd been holding on to the Oregon plates forever, maintaining Oregon residency for longer than recommended, just to keep another reminder of my home state, but I finally ran out of excuses and was forced to register my car in The Mississippi of the West.

Strangely, it feels like my driving IQ has gone down by about 20 points, and I no longer have the desire to use my turn signals...hopefully, I'll be able to resist the urge to tailgate unnecessarily.

Dave

Lewis Black's got nothing on me these days

2008-04-18T15:17:00.000-07:00

It should come as no surprise that no one in the Harpish household has been in an exceptionally good frame of mind lately. I was good for a few months, but lately, the triple whammy of a) caring for a wife with life-threatening cancer, b) working at a job that on a good day, sucks, and c) living in an area with no culture, no friends, no anything...well, that'd bring anybody down after a while. And this winter will never end! Even last week, it's still been trying to snow. No wonder I've been making Lewis Black sound like a veritable Pollyanna.

If the job sucks, why not quit? See C again. My job may be low-paying but I have health benefits, which I need as I slouch ever closer to decrepitude. Other jobs? Oh, that's a laugh. I used to think central Oregon was bad, but I couldn't even get a job as a pizza driver around here (and let's not forget this recession thing going on, which, if my economist friends are correct, is going to be a colossally larger bowl of ugly than most people anticipate).

I only have my current job because my previous boss didn't want to go through the rigmarole of going through the hiring process, and it was easier just to stick me in the position (which has created other problems, being as our HR department makes FEMA look like a paragon of efficiency).

Once it became apparent that I'd reached the limit of what self-medicating myself with various libations could do (when you're sucking down Triple Sec because it's the last thing left in the house - yeah, that's a bad sign), I decided that I'd better start seeing someone with experience dealing with borderline depressives like myself.

And it's helped. I'm in a somewhat better frame of mind, and the person I'm seeing is much more into the holistic side of things, not the pharmaceutical, which suits me fine (although I'd definitely go for some Ambien these days, as I don't think I've gotten a good night's sleep in about two months). We had our first official nice days over the weekend, when the thermometer actually topped 60 degrees for two days straight! That, too, may contribute to better moods all around.

We'll see if I need to hit the Xanax in the future but all in all we're doing a little better, about as well as one can do when stuck in this third circle of Dante's Inferno. We travel down to Portland next week to find out if the chemo is at least keeping the tumors from growing, or if it's on to Plan D, in which case I may need the Xanax...or more Triple Sec.

Dave

p.s.,
Cheryl here. Yes, it's depressing to be a cancer patient. Yes, it sucks to be somewhere you don't like. But I'm happy to say that we're both doing better using some independent counseling (see my previous post). Not only do we find out whether the treatment is working next week, we're also packaging the trip up with (a) a visit with a dear, dear, dear friend going through some medical issues of her own which luckily have turned out incredibly well due to a good surgeon and an iron constitution, and (b) we're gonna see the Mariners game on Thursday, May 8. Wheeee! Nothing like following up possible bad news with two great, um, other things. ;)

Home again, hooray!

2008-04-17T10:43:00.000-07:00

Hi All!

It's been a busy week! Counseling, minor surgery, and chemo. Phew! I'm home today, feeling pretty good, ready to get some personal business done, as well as some thesis work done. yay.

The placement of the port-a-cath on Tuesday went well. Much to Dave's disappointment, he had to get up and drive me to Gritman Hospital at 6:00 am. He was tired. My surgeon did a great job (according to all the nurses at the Oregon Clinic) of putting in the port-a-cath. I have a 1.5in incision on the my right shoulder, with the actual port under the skin to the right. I can feel the catheter snaking from the port up to my collarbone, and then it disappears underneath to the vena cava. I was soo comfy in recovery, sleepy and under 4-5 warm blankets, all I wanted to do was keep sleeping. The nurses wouldn't let me. bah. But I ended up getting up, peeing, and eating, and they let me out of there by 10:30 am. Dave took me home, and I decided to be a lump on the couch for the rest of the day.

Because I was under general anaesthesia Tuesday morning, I couldn't drive a car for 24 hours. What that meant was that Dave had to get up early (again) to drive me up to Spokane to make my plane to Portland for my next chemo/synta treatment. We had to leave home by 5:00 am. Ugh. But Dave was a trooper and drive me up, making it to the airport by 6:30, and I appreciated it immensely. My friend Beth picked me up at the airport in Portland at 8:30, and get me to the Oregon Clinic by 8:45. She hung out with me until my parents got there around 1:30. My new port was the talk of the infusion room. Most of the nurses there had tried to set up IVs for me, and has seen how many times they went gunnybag, so the port was a relief to not only me but to them. The second wonderful moment of the day yesterday was that I got my drug early, and I was done and out of there by 2:00! Wahoo! No more port-treatment blood tests every hour for 4 hours!

The use of the port was interesting. When the nurses "accessed" the port with a needle, and it sounded and felt like someone was putting a pencil through a balloon without it breaking. Weird. But it allowed me to be more mobile, and the skin was numbed before the needle work. I guess I'll just have to deal with this thing under my skin, but I now see the advantages of it.

Just like every other visit to the Oregon Clinic, I got to meet some amazingly positive cancer patients. One woman with colon cancer was just a hoot! We gabbed for 20 minutes while she waited for blood tests to come back. Each patient has blood tests before treatment, and if your tests come back bad, you don't get chemo. She didn't get chemo yesterday, but it was still a fun chat. Another woman, Pam, and her partner (can't remember his name) were there again. They are the nicest people. He brought a telescope to share with the other patients. He could see two squirrels squaring off with a cat, but I couldn't see it. Pam has stomach cancer, and I've seen a huge change in her attitude over the last month. When i first met her, she was very teary eyed, and had a counselor coming to see her in the infusion room. Yesterday she was joking, and her partner was keeping her spirits up so well! I also talked with a woman who was fighting against getting a port. I was the same way last week! But now I have a port. Don't know if I helped her with her decision.

I got out of there early (2:00!), and mom and dad got there at 1:30. The four of us (mom, dad, Beth, and I) all left together, and Beth went home, while I went for a light lunch before heading to the airport. Dave was able to change my flight from 9 pm to 5 pm, so after lunch Mom and Dad dropped me off at the airport, and I made it into Spokane at 6:05 pm. Dave picked me up and we decided to drive around Spokane for a bit. Dave wants to buy a new barbecue, and the one he wants is at Home Depot. Unfortunately they had none in stock, so we may go to Lewiston tomorrow to see what we can do. After Home Depot, we went to dinner at the Taste of India. Oh, lordy, Indian food tasted soooooo gooooood!

Overall, a pretty good couple of days. The only down points right now is that the weather has turned cold again, I have Taxol running through my system, and my hair has now officially started to fall out. Thank you, Beth, for the scarves, and the two hats from my mother will likely see some use.

Off to the hospital tomorrow

2008-04-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

Well, I get my port put in tomorrow. It is under general anaesthetic, and Dave has to get me there by 6:00 am. Ugh. But hey! I should get some pretty good sleep the rest of the day. I was told by the nurses the procedure will only take about 1/2 hour, but i'll be at the hospital for at least 2 1/2 hours. Oh boy. Dave is being a sweetie and taking me in. You poke him early enough in the morning, he does, in fact, wake up. Go figure.

Oter than that, my first counseling session went well. I pretty much just unloaded a bunch of stuff to the counselor with her making a few comments. I got some clarity on a few things, but I think the next session we'll probably focus on working on some coping mechanisms. Yippee.

Wish me luck tomorrow!
Cheryl

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety-jig

2008-04-10T18:27:00.000-07:00

Hi All! It's Cheryl. Yes, I know. I have been a bad blogger...passing the blogging responsibilities to Dave for the past month. But I'm back, I'm gettin' jiggy wid-it, and plan to be a blogging fool for the next couple of weeks.

Yesterday I had my first chemo/superdrug(?) treatment of Cycle 2. Each set of treatments is a "cycle", and there are three treatments per cycle, then I get a week off. The chemo drug is Taxol, made from the beeyoutiful Pacific Yew tree. Actually, its a synthetic version, but the original drug, found successful with breast cancer treatment, started a run on poaching of yew trees. Whole stands were cut down in the early 90s in southern Oregon before researchers could synthesize it. The "superdrug", if I am actually getting it (double-blind trial -- bah!), is supposed to work with the Taxol to get my immune system to respond to the cancer. Everyone keep your fingers crossed!

Side effects. Well, so far I haven't lost any more hair, and Dave swears some of the hair is coming back from the IL-2 treatment. The only real side effect is nausea. Well, I have nausea even if I'm not taking chemo, so I can handle that. The vomiting, though...ugh. The first couple of days after treatment, I'm doing OK, as they give me gooood anti nausea medication through the IV. On the 3rd day, however, it all starts coming back. Literally. I'll survive, though.

I've got a busy schedule coming up in the next week. On monday I go to my first counseling session. After struggling with depression over the past month, I decided it was time to look for some help. Sleeping on the couch all day, trying to hide from the world doesn't seem to make any of my problems go away. Go figure. Hopefully, by talking to someone outside the current situation, I can wrap my head around this thing I'm fighting, and find better ways to deal with it for myself, but also to help support Dave better emotionally.

The other thing that's happening next week is that I am going through minor surgery on Tuesday to have a central line port installed in my shoulder/chest area. I've gone through four chemo treatments, and each time the nurses have had a terrible time getting an IV into me, and I now have five bumps on my arms/hands where veins have collapsed from the IV. I've been told that the port will make things easier for the nurses, but also for me. I'm a bit nervous about it, because I'll have a tube connected into my big vein in my chest. But its what we have to do to make treatment easier.

Here's what wikipedia says http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Port-a-Cath :

A port (often referred to by brand names such as Port-a-Cath or MediPort) is a central venous line that does not have an external connector; instead, it has a small reservoir that is covered with silicone rubber and is implanted under the skin. Medication is administered intermittently by placing a small needle through the skin, piercing the silicone, into the reservoir. When the needle is withdrawn the reservoir cover reseals itself. The cover can accept hundreds of needle sticks during its lifetime. It is possible to leave the ports in the patient's body for years, if this is done however, the port must be accessed monthly and flushed with an anti-coagulant, or the patient risks it getting plugged up. If it is plugged it becomes a hazard as a thrombosis will eventually form with an accompanying risk of embolisation. Removal of a port is usually a simple outpatient procedure, however installation is more complex and a good implant is fairly dependent on the skill of the Radiologist. Ports cause less inconvenience and have a lower risk of infection than PICCs, and are therefore commonly used for patients on long-term intermittent treatment.

Yick. But even if I have to find another clinical trial to go into, I'll still have more intravenous treatment, so its necessary to get this accomplished.

On Wednesday, I'm back to Portland. More treatment. Blah Blah Blah. Wash, Rinse, Repeat. I'll blog again perhaps tomorrow, and report on my time in Vancouver BC at the Society for American Archaeology conference 2 weeks ago. I had a blast!

Until next time! We just keep on keeping on. Keep the good thoughts coming, people!

Cheryl

On the road again

2008-04-07T14:56:00.001-07:00

Yes, this should be Cheryl posting, but you get stuck with me again. Clearly, I have not been flogging her enough.

We're going to fly down to PDX for the latest round of chemo tomorrow, then back to the frozen wastes of the Palouse (I'm not kidding, either - we're still getting snow flurries and temps in the high 20s). I'm trying to see if I can get tickets to Tuesday night's Lakers/Blazers tilt on eBay or Stubhub or even Craigslist - anybody reading this in Portland with tickets they want to donate to a good cause? I'm trying to remember if I've ever been to a Blazer game in the Rose Garden - I remember the MC but not the new place. Hopefully we can go and see a Blazer victory over the forces of evil.

All in all, Cheryl's doing okay these days. Her hair, which had thinned out quite a bit towards the end of the IL-2 treatment, actually seems to be coming back. At least, I'm not finding her hairballs all over the place. She's currently sporting a short bob - I don't think I've ever seen my wife with short hair. I have seen her high school photo sporting the she-mullet, and that was scary enough, thankyouverymuch.

She's still suffering from occasional nausea, but no vomiting for a while now, which, again, is a good thing.

Aside from that, not much else to report (my fantasy baseball team is kicking ass, though - so I at least have one source of joy in this godforsaken place).

Dave

Talkin' baseball

2008-03-30T12:48:00.000-07:00

Warning: Extremely nerdy subject matter follows

Yesterday, most members of my past-our-collective-prime softball team gathered for our yearly Fantasy Baseball draft, one of the few genuine sources of entertainment I have found around here. I did pretty crappy last year. Finished next-to-last if I remembered correctly. This year, I actually did some research, and went in with a specific gameplan, deciding to target individual players and be willing to overpay to get them, knowing I could acquire $1 sleepers down the road.

Our league runs drafts as an auction, with each GM being allocated $260 dollars to spend to fill out a team. What ended up happening this year, with expanded rosters, is that prices for superstar players started out high, as expected (ARod for $41, for example), but as the draft went on and coffers got low, suddenly, good players started going for a lot less (Justin Verlander for $19?). It was living in 1980s Argentina or the Weimar Republic. Heck, I got Rick Ankiel and Jacoby Ellsbury late for a $1 each!

The only player I desperately wanted but didn't get was Jeff Francouer, leaving me with a outfield long on potential but definitely looking shakier than a three-legged table; however, I've got starting pitching to die for and actually have closers for once (Fantasy truism: never, ever pay for saves - what's the difference between Matt Capps and Jonathan Papelbon? $25).

Anywho, this is what the team looks like:

Bend Derenbacks (it is my dream to someday have enough money to bring a minor league baseball team back to central Oregon, and name them the Derenbacks - oh, the humanity)
C: Russel Martin, LAD
1B: Nick Swisher, CWS
2B: Brandon Phillips, CIN
SS: Miguel Tejada, HOU
MI: Bobby Crosby, OAK
3B: David Wright, NYM
OF: Josh Hamilton, TEX
OF: Rick Ankiel, STL
OF: Lastings Millidge, WAS
UTIL: Billy Butler, KC
UTIL: Ryan Garko, CLE
SP: Erik Bedard, SEA
SP: Felix Hernandez, SEA
SP: Justin Verlander, DET
SP: Ian Snell, PIT
SP: Johnny Cueto, CIN
RP: Matt Capps, PIT
RP: Troy Percival, TB
RP: Francisco Cordero, CIN

BENCH: Jacoby Ellsbury, OF, BOS
BENCH: Andy LaRoche, 1B, PIT
BENCH: Justin Upton, OF, ARZ
BENCH: Rich Hill, SP, CHC

Yeah, my outfield is iffy, and I'm none too fond of hoping for big years from Tejada and/or Crosby at SS, but look at that pitching! Bedard, Verlander, and King Felix?! That's just insane.

We now resume our normally scheduled blogging, already in progress.

Dave

Yes, we know, we need to keep this updated more often...

2008-03-25T09:46:00.000-07:00

Cheryl was supposed to have a new blog post up, but somebody done forgotted...

I guess we'll give my wife the benefit of the doubt just this once. The joys of chemotherapy included the expected bugaboos of nausea, vomiting and general ookiness, so she hasn't been up to doing much of anything for the past two weeks, which, sadly, includes finishing the Bane of Our Existence, the thesis. At least she has the summer to get it done now.

News of note: not much, really. Cheryl got her third dose of chemo (and, hopefully, the wonder drug as well). Blood tests revealed that her platelet count was through the roof, something like 1100 (normal, I think, is around 100-200). What does this mean? We have no idea. It's worth noting that when the IL-2 treatment was working, Cheryl had an elevated platelet count, and anecdotal evidence suggests that maybe this is a Good Thing. It's also possible that Cheryl's just a weirdo with a naturally high platelet count.

Also, Cheryl has horribly tiny, dainty veins that apparently collapse if you look at them funny. She's starting to run out of good ones, too, so it's forseeable that she may have to get a semi-permanent port for the duration of this treatment. Oh, joy, a big plastic thing sticking out of your chest for several months. I suppose we should be happy it's not a colostomy bag.

Right now, Cheryl's in Vancouver, B.C. for the SAA conference, and it feeling pretty good at last report. Hopefully, that shall continue.

Here in the Palouse, it is apparent that spring will have to be pried from the cold, dead fingers of Old Man Winter. It snowed again yesterday, and it's not going away, in fact, we are expected to get more snow over the next few days. I'd better check the calendar, 'cause I was sure that it was almost April, not January. I could be wrong. It happens.

Tonight will be a busy night for me. Not only do I need to wrap up the tax stuff (the downside of being a Jeopardy! winner - we owe the guv'mint quite a bit of cash, much of which we have already spent), but I have to finish my fantasy baseball research for this weekend's draft, clean the place up, castigate the cats for whatever trouble they've gotten into this time, and then, time and laziness permitting, consider doing something about the shaggy beard I've got going. Seriously, I look like the bastard stepchild of Grizzly Adams and Redbeard the Pirate right now. I might let it keep growing out to look really shaggy, but once it warms up, I suspect I won't want a bird's nest on my face any longer.

And I have softball this weekend, too. I wonder if we'll have a Snow Delay...

Dave

At least we're getting plenty of frequent flier miles

2008-03-09T13:33:00.000-07:00

So here's the latest news:

Cheryl is scheduled to fly down to Portland tomorrow (which means we get to get up at 4:30 in the morning to drive to Spokane - ugh), she'll get a shot of chemo around noon (and, we hope, the extra wonder drug), and...that's it. It's pretty much an outpatient procedure. However, since Cheryl's been feeling pretty ooky this week, and we have no idea what the side effects will be like or how quickly they'll hit her, she's decided to spend the week at her folks house, finishing up the #@$%&* thesis, then returning to Providence the next week for another shot. It's a three-on-one-off cycle, and after three treatments, the doctors will re-evaluate things to see how the treatment is working. So, keep your collective fingers and toes crossed for some good results.

After the second treatment, we'll have an idea how soon she bounces back and can return home (one of the few positive of being in a clinical trial; the hospital picks up all the expenses).

This also means that, for a week or so, I'm reverting to Bachelor Mode - lots of beer 'n popcorn for dinner, methinks. Well, maybe once. I'll probably fix some of my favorite dishes that Cheryl is, inexplicably, none too fond of, like my eggplant parmesan or the king of sandwiches, the reuben...covered in Russian dressing, chock full of sauerkraut...mmm, sauerkraut...

I think that pretty much covers it. Again, happy thoughts, people!

Dave

The latest from the Palouse

2008-03-03T20:43:00.000-08:00

March is living up to it's "in like a lion" appellation as it is windy as all get out right now.

Cheryl's just about set up to enter a clinical trial at the Oregon Clinic; she's got a few more blood samples to give and get an EEG and MRI to make sure her brain is cancer-free (if not, she's not eligible for this trial, but since we haven't seen any ick up there, we should be safe on that front).

The unfortunate part is that this is a double-blind, not open trial, meaning half the patients get just chemo, half get the chemo and the experimental wonder drug. The chemo drug - paclitaxel - has actually been shown to be fairly effective on its own, but is not a cure. Bother.

Personally, I think since we've had the double whammy of a) IL-2 quitting working and b) no positive antigen for the other trial, we're definitely due for a dose of good fortune.

We'll know more in a week or so, and will keep you all updated as we get more info.

Back to ye olde drawing board...

2008-02-26T10:10:00.000-08:00

Stoopid genetic makeup!

So i got a call from Chris Fountain at the Clinical Trials department at Providence Medical Center. They got very good, measurable scans of my tummy tumors, but I don't have the antigen required for the clinical trial I was scheduled to go into. Bah!

Chris is sending me via email more information about some other trials. More reading dry, bland medical information. We will likely make a decision for our next step tonight.

More to come later this week...

Cheryl

The long awaited, much promised longer update - now with glavin!

2008-02-21T10:28:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I know, we promised a longer post earlier. We've been busy. And lazy. "Blazy?" Call the Webster people, we might have new word here.

So, two weeks ago, Cheryl went in for her endoscopy, and as previously mentioned, the photos that came back definitely won't go in the scrapbook. I can see keeping sonograms, but these were just a big bowl of ugly, including one very large mass towards the entrance to the duodenum, which, in the spirit of belittling the cancer (and just being a good Simpsons reference), we now call "Bitey."

Stupid Bitey. We hate Bitey.

When we saw Dr. Crocenzi the next week, he didn't have the results from the PET scan (we had to get it done the day before in Portland, as for some inexplicable reason, Blue Cross will no longer cover this procedure as done by Gritman Hospital in Moscow; insert your own Idaho joke here), but we did bring along the tummy pics, and it was rather apparent that the IL-2 treatment wasn't doing it's job anymore. This, apparently, is not that uncommon with the IL-2 treatment; it'll work for a while, but then the tumors come back. Still, we did see a positive result for a while, and this bodes well for future treatments.

Dr. Crocenzi outlined three courses of treatment for us:

Plan B: This is a clinical trial that involves filtering out all of Cheryl's white blood cells in a process called leukophorysis, then re-injecting them later with a drug that has a genetic marker attached which should attack the surface of the cancer cells - in essence, it's a "reboot" of the immune system. However, this only works in people who have a specific positive antigen in their system; like blood types, you're either negative or positive, and it's pretty much a coin flip if you have it or not.

Plan C: This is another clinical trial that involves giving Cheryl a drug called imipimab or something oddly pronounced like that, which is a form of stem cell therapy. Yet another reason to vote Democrat this fall, if'n you ask me. Due to the nature of these clinical trials, if Cheryl undergoes Plan C, she couldn't do B if C doesn't work, but if she undergoes B first, she'd still be eligible for C if B doesn't work.

Confused yet?

Plan D: This is standard chemotherapy, which involves a few drugs that might be mildly effective at slowing the growth of tumors, but shows little promise as a cure. Along with IL-2, this is the only FDA approved course of treatment for this type of cancer. To us, this really isn't an option at this time.

The bright side of clinical trials is that this is really cutting edge stuff that's shown enough promise in small mammals that they're testing it on large mammals (that's us). The down side is that, well, even if you see dramatic short-term gains, they have no idea as to what kind of long-term effect you'll see. Some of these treatments are less than a year old, so there's no data yet on how patients are five, ten, twenty years down the road.

Nonetheless, we'll happily be guinea pigs at this point in time.

So, we're hoping that Cheryl has the positive antigen to undergo Plan B, if not, then Plan C it is. Chris Fountain, the nurse who is charge of organizing much of the clinical trials at the Oregon Cancer Clinic, was very excited about some of the future trials coming down the pipe, including the hyper-oxygenation treatment that some INB readers pointed out to us a few months ago - I thought it'd be years before it made it to the U.S., but apprarently it's only months away. So, as previously mentioned, in a few months we'll have options E, F, G and maybe H available to us.

We did give Chris a hard time when he said, "This is really an exciting time to be a cancer patient," to which Cheryl replied, "No it's not!" We kid, we kid. Sorry Chris! He is very excited, though, about the various treatments coming down the pipe.

After our meeting with Dr. Crocenzi, we were in a reasonably good mood, since we'd had the weekend to steel ourselves for bad news. We spent some money at Powell's, then visited Cheryl's folks for a while, drove over to spend Valentine's Day with my folks in Bend, then had a weekend to ourselves at Baker City. I had much fun skiing at Anthony Lakes, Cheryl, not so much - a combination of lack of conditioning and not skiing much over the past three years made for a not-fun time for her (next time, she decided, she'll get some remedial lessons to relearn how to make right turns). Sweet merciful God, though, I am sick of long-distance driving these days.

Cheryl had to fly back to Portland last Tuesday to get another CT scan; apparently, they weren't able to get a good measurement on her tumors the last go around, and they needed the radiologist present to be sure they got exactly what they needed. And a collective "blergh" was issued forth. So she hasn't been feeling too good the past few days, probably a combination of travel stress and all that ooky radioactive iodine they pumped into her. So ooky, in fact, she could barely play with our new Wii.

That's the news from INB HQ. We will hopefully hear back from the OCC regarding what our next course of action is in the next few days, and we'll keep you updated when that happens.

Dave

A brief post in lieu of a longer update

2008-02-14T20:10:00.000-08:00

Sorry for not updating sooner, but its been a busy week and our internet access has been irregular at best.

The news could be better. Cheryl hadn't been feeling too good the past few weeks, so we weren't surprised when the endoscopy on Friday showed that the tumors in her stomach had grown and expanded. Bummed out, yes, but not surprised. This is not uncommon in patients undergoing IL-2 treatment.

Fortunately, we have Plan B, C, and D to fall back on. There are two clinical trials we are trying to get Cheryl into, the most promising of which is one that involves removing all the white blood cells from her system, then reinjecting them into her body with an antigen-specific drug designed to attack the cancer - essentially, it's rebooting her immune system.

However, Cheryl needs to have a specific positive antibody in her system, and it's 50/50 that she has it. If it's positive, we proceed, if it's negative, we go to Plan C.

In addition, there's a number of new treatments that are in the pipe, so within a few months we'll have Plans E, F, G and H to fall back on.

Cheryl and I will have a more detailed post up in a few days. Until then, think positive (and we mean that in more ways than one).

Dave

Raucous at the caucus

2008-02-05T21:43:00.001-08:00

Being Oregonians, Cheryl and I have participated in many primaries and general elections, but this was our first caucus, and we were weirdly excited about it. Part of it was that we'd never participated in one, and part of it was, hey, something new to do on Tuesday night besides the exciting CW lineup.

Let's just say I was stunned. In a rural county in north-central Idaho (yes, the University of Idaho is here, but this is still podunk country), on a cold, snowy night, there were - I kid you not - hundreds of people at the caucus site.

I didn't know there were that many Democrats in Idaho, let along Latah County.

Cheryl and I are both Obama supporters, and we were not alone. Pretty much everyone there was wearing Obama stickers - the Obama campaign and U of I Democrats did a stellar job of getting out the vote (and, of course, they had snacks - I'll vote for anyone who'll give me free food).

There was a small Clinton contingent of roughly 30 people - not a one younger than forty by my eyes - a handful of Edwards loyalists and a few "uncommitted" folks hoping Gravel or Kucinich might show up just for the hell of it. And they had no snacks! What did I just say about food getting my vote?

Sadly, we had to leave before all the official voting occurred, as Cheryl got a little overheated and queasy in the literally-packed-to-the-gills caucus room (fortunately, we literally live a block away from the caucus site, so it was a short walk home). But, all in all, it was a fun time, and, if you're an Obama supporter, you can be heartened to think that he carried a tiny rural county in the middle of nowhere, and the entire state of Idaho (which, not so long ago, was better known as America's biggest exporter of neo-Nazis) went for Obama 85/15...well, maybe there's hope for us yet.

Dave

Oh Boy! Caucus!

2008-02-05T09:31:00.000-08:00

Hi All

Dave and I are looking forward to tonight. Since we are both Oregon-born and -bred, we have always voted in a primary. Idaho, however, has a caucus on Super Tuesday, which is today! So we are planning on going over to the Latah County Fairground (outside our back door!) and go to the Democratic Caucus. Oh boy! Neither of us are sure why, but we're really excited about going to the caucus! I'll give you an update on what we noted after we get back tonight.

Things are going well. Yesterday I had a preliminary appointment prior to an upper endoscopy (camera down the throat to look at my stomach) -- oh boy. I can't eat starting at midnight Thursday, and I can only have a low carb diet on friday prior to my PET/CT scan on Saturday. Hungry makes Cheryl Grumpy! She-Hulk smash! I guess Dave and I will be going for a good lunch on Saturday! Gyros?

OK. Back to thesis work. Took me an hour to figure out how to use our scanner. SIGH. You'd think that HP would make their 3-in-1 printer/scanner/copier more user-friendly, but no! ;)

Cheryl

Snow day!

2008-01-31T09:01:00.000-08:00

Holy cats! I get up this morning, and amazingly, the weatherman did not lie, we did indeed get 4+ inches of snow. So much snow, in fact, that Washington State has decided to close for the day.

Snow day! Snow day! Snow day!

You would not believe how much snow we've gotten over the last week - even the old timers are taken aback. Man, if only I had a digital camera and the blog could upload photos...

Long Time, No Post!

2008-01-28T13:45:00.000-08:00

Hello!

Sorry I haven't posted to the blog recently. I got home over a week ago, and have been telling myself over and over and over to update the blog. Dave has mentioned updating the blog. A friend asked why I hadn't updated the blog. Well, gosh darn it. I guess I'd better update the blog :)

My parents brought me home and visited here in Moscow for 3 days. We all went to the WSU-UO basketball game. Despite the last three miracle wins by the Ducks in Pullman, this year, the Cougs beat us. Bah. Since I've been back, Dave and I have been (kinda) busy cleaning the house. While it currently doesn't look like it. Tonight we're gonna clean the living room and kitchen. Hooray! I'm currently only working one day per week at the Forest Service, and trying to finish my thesis on the other days. I've procrastinated long enough. With our future currently on hold, I want to get at least one thing done! I taught myself how to use Adobe Illustrator the other night so I can do some cool figures for the thesis. I'll also be able to tweak my $850 piece of artwork -- the professionally done illustrations of my artifacts. SIGH. I've got a few points to illustrate still, and will have to do it on my own. I'm hoping they turn out half as good as the professional ones. We'll see.

On the the Big C front, I've been a bit up and down. I think the last set of treatments just knocked me out a bit both physically and emotionally. Even though the doctors and nurses constantly tell you not to worry about numbers, Cycle 4 was hard for me to deal with. I was devastated in the hospital when my body only allowed me to get five doses of IL-2. I know in my heart that just getting a few doses is great, but I'm used to getting 10 to 12 doses. My irrational brain sees the 5 doses as failure ... that those doses can't help with so few .. but I'm wrong! Be hppy I can get any doses at all! Some melanoma patients can't have this treatment, and some don't get any positive response at all. Only one in five patients get a positive response (me!), and out of those, only one in four get a cure (me! hopefully!). My oncologist, Dr. Crocenzi, hinted that we may be done with treatment after the 4th dose, but I have a feeling that I am in for the final 5th and 6th doses in the near future.

Early February will be very busy for us. I have doctor appointments on Feb 4, 9, and 13, and then Dave and I are heading to the Blue Mtns of Oregon for a skiing weekend after Valentine's Day. Hopefully we have something to celebrate. We will see the oncologist on Feb 13, and he'll give us the results of the PET/CT scan and endoscopy, which take place the previous weekend, in hopes that they show the cancer has not grown, or decreased and gone. Think positive thoughts for us!

Cheryl

The news, such as it is

2008-01-14T17:20:00.000-08:00

Man alive, I'm tired. And bored. Played hooky from work today because I just couldn't get my bones out of bed today. Color me highly unmotivated.

Cheryl's feeling much better today. Aside from the usual bugaboo of nausea and horribly aching joints (looks like the IL-2 decided to go after the arthritis in her shoulders this time around), she's doing alright. She only managed 5 doses this time, but that seems to be about average for patients on their fourth cycle. If all goes well, this will be the last time Cheryl goes in for treatment, although neither of us would be surprised if another two week cycle is called for.

Methinks I shall whip up a batch of my (in)famous black bean and chorizo chili, which shall keep me fed for the rest of the week, then get to back to the never-ending task of cleaning the apartment. Sisyphus and his boulder have nothing on me.

Time for the midweek update

2008-01-08T21:23:00.000-08:00

We are expecting 4-7 inches of snow here in Moscow tonight, and I'm preparing to lounge on the couch and watch the new Futurama DVD (Futurama returns, huzzah! All glory to the Hypnotoad!), watch the snow fall, throw popcorn at the cat and, uh, "self-medicate" myself. Hey, it's been a pretty crappy last-six-months for me too, ya know; I'm entitled to find whatever joy I can in this godforsaken place people call Idaho, and if that happens to be a short-term dopamine boost in exchange for longer-term depressive effects, then so be it!
Besides, red wine has many healthy properties, too.

All the vodka I've been drinking, however, probably not so much. I think it's a bad sign that the clerks at the liquor stores now know me on a first-name basis.

But that's neither here nor there. The latest news from INB HQ is that Cheryl's not doing as well as hoped, as the side effects hit hard and early this go around, and after one dose she was put on neoepinephrine to boost her blood pressure, which was down to a perilous new low of 60/20 at one point (so if you had 60/20 in the blood pressure pool, email me and I'll send you your winnings). It looks like she'll probably top out at five, maybe six doses this go-round.

This, however, is not abnormal for someone going through their fourth cycle, so the nurses have told us, and they've proven pretty on-the-mark in terms of predictions and whatnot.

That's the news for now. If you'll excuse me, I have a movie to watch and brain cells to kill.

Dave

Better Late than Never...

2008-01-04T16:12:00.000-08:00

Hi All

It's been a week and a half since our last blog post. I have been telling Dave for the past week I would update the blog but just haven't gotten around to it. I have to log on from Dave's computer, as my computer is currently having issues with the internet, so I've been procrastinating. Surprise. Me? Procrastinate? Never! ;)

Last week was incredibly busy!
December 24: Christmas Eve. We celebrated Christmas at my parents house with my brother and his family.
December 25: Christmas Day. We celebrated Christmas at my parents house with my sister and her family.
December 26: Day after Christmas. We celebrated Christmas at my parents-in-laws' house with Dave's parents and sister.

Believe it or not, by the third Christmas Celebration and associated Christmas dinner, I was celebrated out. Not tired of the presents, but I was pretty much ready to go to bed for a week. I got out of the hospital on the Saturday before, and only ate a smidge of of food each night. Dinner(s) was wonderful, but unfortunately my tummy had still not made it back from my hospital stint the week before. We had a wonderful time with both sides of the family, and it was great to see Dave's sister before she headed out to her new job in Michigan.

This week, in comparison, has been low key. We got home on Sunday night. The cats were, to put it mildly, happy to see us. Let's just say, we got little sleep as an old kitty was bound and determined to not only get under the new down comforter but burrow all the way to our feet. We were crawled over, yowled at, purred at, and head butted by Samantha. Pearl was perfectly happy to sleep at our feet. Good grief. Thanks Michelle and Aaren for taking care of our babies over Christmas!

Looks like we're going skiing tomorrow! Whee! We'll see how that goes. My treatments make me slightly anemic, so I may spend more time taking breaks than skiing, but I don't care. We bought me new skis last month, and gosh darn it, I want to use them!

I go back in the hospital next week for Cycle 4 of IL-2. Wish me luck everyone! If you're in Portland, or going through Portland, stop by at Providence Portland Medical Center and say hi! I'll be on Floor 5K!

Cheryl

The Pre-Xmas Update

2007-12-24T12:17:00.000-08:00

Ho ho ho! (Not just what Santa said to the three hookers). Greetings from downtown Corvallis, home of your future Emerald Bowl Champion Oregon State Beavers (and a big no-thanks to those schmucks at Boise State for screwing up all my bowl projections). I'm currently typing from a downtown Starbucks, being as they have Wi-Fi and Cheryl folks, well, don't. Updating this blog on a 28.8 modem is just a bit too slow for those of us who are members of the ADD generation.

Anywho, Cheryl is feeling fairly fine and dandy. She was only able to make it through 10 doses this time around, but isn't suffering too much from the bugaboo of side effects. Aside from a little nausea, some skin flaking on her face and a whole lot of fatigue, she's doing okay. We were able to escape the hospital fairly early Saturday afternoon, and have since been crashing at Casa Harper until the 26th, at which time we'll head for my folks in central Oregon, then home to Moscow on the 31st if all goes according to plan.

Other than that, no news to report. Thanks for everyone who stopped by to say hello in the hospital, and big thanks to Maren for putting me up and putting up with me for a couple of days. I've been told Santa is going to be very good to me, which is only fair, considering how much I've had to deal with this year :)

Today's news of note (not much, really)

2007-12-20T14:50:00.000-08:00

Another quiet day here at the hospital. Cheryl's tired, a bit bloated and nauseous but is doing fairly well. She will skip dose #10 due to a CO2 imbalance of sorts, but seems to be on course for about 12 doses, as predicted. And, as an added plus, we finally got her moved to a private room, so we can all stretch our collective feet, as it were.

Not too much to report at this time. Cheryl will probably be dozing the rest of the day, since she didn't get too much rest last night due to her suitemate's hacking cough all last night.

One of the nurses came by to pass along the news that another IL-2 patient of theirs had stopped by to say hello, and he was in full remission since finishing treatment. So that's good.

Yawn

2007-12-19T18:39:00.000-08:00

Sweet merciful God, I'm tired. Not much sleep last night plus a long drive to PDX have me very worn out. You have no idea how truly sick I am of the many long drives we've been having to take since we moved to the Palouse. Wherever we move next, it's either going to be much closer to family, or waaaay too far away to drive.

Anywho, thanks to all for stopping by today. Cheryl's doing pretty good, a perfect 7-7 on IL-2 doses, and not suffering from side effects too badly; itchy, a bit nauseous, but she's lucid and the blood pressure's stabilized around 95/60.

I'm going to catch a bit of the Blazer game on TV then head over to our friend Maren's place to crash, which I imagine I will do for around 10 or so hours, then resume the vigil here at Providence tomorrow. Yeah, I'm too tired for any pithy comments tonight.

Dave

The weather outside is frightful

2007-12-18T18:07:00.000-08:00

It's just barely warm enough to rain here in Moscow, to which I say, bah phooey. Give me snow any day of the week (being as I am one of the 10 Finest Snow Drivers in the Free World, snow gives me no problems whatsover).

I'm currently packing clothes and trying to clean this joint up for the kittie caretakers while we're both absent during the break. When last I checked with the missus, she was a little loopy on Dilotid (sp?) to keep the nausea at bay while the IL-2 did its stuff. The side effects pretty much came on quickly, so I've revised the over/under on max doses from 12 to 11. I could be wrong. This has been a horrible football handicapping year for me.

I'll be down in Portland this time Wednesday, so anyone needing to get a hold of me can use the trusty cell option.